I wish I never

stopped,

paused to speak,

given you the opportunity to say anything that would penetrate

decided that i loved it

Masochism

I believe in torture and torment concerning bouts of true love with otherwise rational entities. Perhaps, I have read too much Ayn Rand, or have been touched by fantastically sordid love stories. There is no real happy ending, or there was so so much to get there, it is much deserved. In any case- everything lacks simplicity (almost- enough for it to be kind of true, to me) so it becomes about tolerance and composure. With that, and simplified thinking, I think I might be alright. Mistakes don't wait, so I do. I know myself, so I know my personal expectations and capacities,  I tread lightly about my erratic emotional insecurities because, ultimately, I know what the truth is. 

Masochism, romanticism... I know that its hard but, I am sure that it's worth it. 

One way or another. 

I GUESS......

Christmas Time is sooo OVerated when you become an adult. Its more about getting drunk and eating good food (again, thanksgiving just passed). Nobody ever gets great gifts when you're an adult but then again Whose sober enough to pay attention until the day after LOL....ANYWAYS HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

The Most Amazing Thing EVER!!!!!!!!

Check it out...
I am so serious; I am so sincere.

http://moblackart.org/exhibitions/

Not only should you click on the link preceding this paragraph, but if you are in anyway able to make it to the Brooklyn Artist Gym, 168 7th street between third and second avenue, in BROOKLYN, you need to. You can take the M, R, to 9th avenue and 4th street; you can also take the F to 4th avenue and 9th street. We are having a free opening reception on Saturday, December 5, from noon until 5pm. Take a look at our featured artists. I know you're impressed.

Be wise. Come see us.

sjeffers@moblackart.org

Conservation of Energy

I believe in going green but that is not the energy of which I am referencing. As I am maturing and adjusting to the bullshit tactics and growing pains that come with my inheritance of life, I find that I can handle things easier when I am able to prioritize my energy. If there is work to be done, it does not matter who assigns it, or how fucked up everything else is. If I can produce what I need to do according to my standards as they comply with the general practices of the rational and sane, I will continue to succeed.

War:

In a moment of reflection I am trying to figure out what is the lesson/mantra I need to know in order to get through the day to day. I would consider myself a 'grander scheme of things' kind of person, so I try to keep things in that perspective. The forefront oft gets blurry as I move through life in a semi consciousness. Unfortunately I no longer have that luxury and must find gratification that occurs sooner, as my tenacity is hardening around the edges. I am not scared of becoming bitter because I keep busy in my many interests, but, I would like to think that my journey would only be difficult through rational obstacles. And, thinking about it, its not the brightest idea I've had or conclusion I've drawn. So, I am starting over and restructuring my thoughts and coping mechanisms. I think I got this.

...yeah

*cue Young Jeezy "I Got This"

Energies

Recently, I was thinking about the word please.

The verb and the request...for mercy...for a favour

When used infrequently it becomes foreign 

and its function 

and meaning becomes a question

Did I remember it the right way?

Please stop-

Please don't stop

Please love me the way I love you

Please let me be right 

Please don't make me say it

...I am pleased.

More Black Art about More Black Ish

Learn more about us!!!! 

Come out and support our event preceding our first exhibition commemorating our anniversary. Come mingle and learn more about how you can be involved.

http://moblackart.org/events

Come Into Knowledge

I love Pandora for what it can do in terms of introducing me to amazing songs and artists to which I would not have that exposure. However, sometimes, that it can be way off and I have no idea how it even found songs that I would like in the first place. Either way, I was listening to either my Norman Connors, Isaac Hayes, or Funk radio station and I heard the song 'Daylight' by this group named RAMP. It was the song whose guitar loop was sampled in A Tribe Called Quest's, 'Bonita Applebum'. The song is featured on their only album, Come into Knowledge, released in 1977. Quite honestly, it is a masterpiece of a unique magnitude. Each song is a complete entity and serves and completes the purpose of its message. The song topics volley between self-empowerment and love, essentially typical of this era in black music. I implore you to research and take a listen. 

BLACK DYNAMITE!

I saw Black Dynamite at a preview screening this past Thursday. It was an interesting circumstance because I did not really know what to expect from the movie and I had spent the last half an hour dedicated to shots of Jack to be "nice" while I viewed it. I will say that it was not that necessary to do so. The shit was funny.

So, my friend and I, are walking swiftly down the block after he uses the bathroom at a bar where their shots of Jack are sixteen dollars each... I was none too pleased. Get to the movie theater and I am standing next to Cipha Sounds, and I am like, this is incredible. I say Cipha, I am lifetime Hot 97 listener and I just want to say congratulations on your success and progression. I waited 5 seconds, I listen to your show in the morning, you are so funny. He is thanking me, genuinely while moving aside, as I am speaking while the director is addressing the audience, talking about the reason he decided to do this project. Needless, to say all I got was an impression of his "blaxploitation voice" and to see Michael Jai White, in person. He is very handsome. But Cipha shook my hand so the movie was the icing.

Delighted and slightly inebriated, the film begins, and I was exposed to pure entertainment. All I can really say is; at several points of the movie I was heard saying either, no, I can't, or I am ready for the credits to roll. And when I say that, it means that I am so overwhelmed by the magnitude of greatness that I almost can not bear it. Was that vague enough?

The success of this movie is that the actors are really good. The satire was done in such a way that it playfully makes fun of the Blaxploitation genre while admitting that it was entertainment that could be enjoyed. The project is well executed and as I sit and try to think of excerpts all I can do is laugh hysterically and insist that you go see it.

Click the link for screenings

http://www.blackdynamitemovie.com/

PS. On my way out, Cipha was handing out flyers, my friend asked where Rosenberg was, we heard someone say, right here.

Enough About You

I have been doing a lot of looking at society and interpreting people through my eyes and perspective. Which is not a problem because what I do believe is true- most everyone is off-kilter in one way or another, it is just about how you can filter and adjust. Unfortunately, life's ills make it difficult for most do so.  I suffer because I am trying too hard to understand why I am not getting the responses that make the most sense to me. And, I would like to consider myself a rolling ball of sanity, (c) Chidi Asoluka; my logic and motivations are of my own creation and constitute my personal integrity. 

Unwavering, I have to have enough confidence in my personal construction to not be concerned with that which I can not coalesce. It makes it easer when the bullshit filters itself. 

I could not have it any other way. 

Hide out to Ride out

This past Saturday, my brother, biblicallynice.blogspot.com, and I decided to go out for a wine open bar as the after party for his friend's roommate's showing of her new collection. (I went to their show at Pink Elephant for Fashion Week in February,  http://toolbox1130.blogspot.com/2009/02/untitled.html, their link to their lookbook, and subsequently their website, is http://untitled1111.com/Untitled_11_11_fall_09_lookbook.html)

After verifying the address and hopstopping, we, my brother and I get ready to hit Chinatown. All, I have to say is thank goodness for the neighborhood maps and cardinal directions. When we arrive at Doyers Street, a small street with a crook leading you from Bowery to another alley way looking street, it looked like we took a wrong turn somewhere. My brother said he always thinks he will get ninja-starred to death in Chinatown. If it were to be anywhere, this street was the place. I just got a flashback to one of my favourite movies, Death to Smoochy, where Spinner gets killed and dumped in a street that resembled this one. 

Tangential? I know. Sorry? No. 

Anyway... the address of the venue, Apotheke, has us standing in front of a well maintained yet closed Chinese restaurant. The doors, solid wood, were uncharacteristic of a restaurant of that nature but still did not betray what was lying behind them. After looking around an empty street, we venture inside. A subdued setting with red lighting, hinting at a den of sin or secrecy, with four men in labcoats standing behind a bar. My brother and I were the only black people in there and I decided to wear black jeans, a white tee and construction timbs. But, it wasn't that awkward. An amazing ambience and a menu of drinks that will liken themselves to a bucket list. I do urge you to give it a try.

Here is a link to ther drink menu... http://www.apothekebar.com/index2abar.html

Look into it. 

Imaginary Relationships

... what exists in the negative space.

negative space: n, empty space, space surrounding an object or form.

It is what provides context and dimension for the positive image or form. I will be using it in reference to relationships, and that which is not mentioned but becomes implicit, and how that lack of communication becomes problematic.

It is all imaginary until spoken about. 

Needless to say, I have millions of examples of people taking a mile from the precisely measured inch I have given.

And I just want to know why, when people have plans for me, they do not share them. It would make my existence less confusing. The issue is, at least in my personal hetero experience, I meet men, we express a genuine interest and then I am supposed to forget that there at least 3 billion more out here. I do not do stage directions, I do directives. I seek to observe, analyze, understand and communicate, that's how relationships work. Not this, oh well  I am just going to skip these steps and act like we have an understanding that they have a certain precedent, when none of it was spoken about at all. And I am not taking one circumstance and making it general to hype myself up. Trust. 

I usually opt with the gradient of difficult to dumb and see how much I can get away with. 

Until, I just have to put my foot down. I get feigned surprise and a lot of "Nah, its not like that". Because its usually men acting like its not about sex instead of being upfront. But, saying the word-sex/fuck/smash/beat-preceded by "if you're just trying to" and succeeded by "just say that" is like shedding a light when everyone wants to act like they are not doing/seeking what they actually are doing/seeking. Its stupid and causes headache. Keep it 100, you'd be better off when trying to find a proper match. Everyone is out here sending their representatives confusing people that have no time to waste on superficial representation of reality. Fuck off. 

And that, my friends, is where imaginary relationships come from.

Really.

R.I.P. PATRICK SWAYZE

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Patrick Swayze, whose good looks and sympathetic performances in films such as "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost" made him a romantic idol to millions, died Monday. He was 57.

Swayze died of pancreatic cancer, his publicist, Annett Wolf, told CNN.

Swayze's doctor, Dr. George Fisher, revealed in early March 2008 that Swayze was suffering from the disease.

"Patrick Swayze passed away peacefully today with family at his side after facing the challenges of his illness for the last 20 months," Wolf said in a statement Monday.

Most recently, Swayze starred in A&E Network's "The Beast," which debuted in January. He agreed to take the starring role of an undercover FBI agent before his diagnosis.

The network agreed to shoot an entire season of the show after Swayze responded well to his cancer treatment. iReport.com: Send us your memories of Swayze

In an interview with ABC's Barbara Walters in January, Swayze said his work on that show was exhausting, requiring 12-hour workdays in Chicago, Illinois, doing his own stunts. But he said the show's character "just felt right for my soul."

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KTLA: Patrick Swayze dies after battle with cancer
"If I leave this Earth, I want to leave this Earth just knowing I've tried to give something back and tried to do something worthwhile with myself," Swayze told Walters, when asked why he decided to do the show. "And that keeps me going, that gets me up in the morning. My work ... is my legacy."

Swayze was mostly known for a handful of supporting roles when he broke through with his performance as dance instructor Johnny Castle in 1987's "Dirty Dancing." Watch a look back on Swayze's career »

Three years later, he became an even bigger star with "Ghost," in which he played an investment banker who dies and learns to tap into his unspoken feelings for his partner (Demi Moore). The film won Whoopi Goldberg an Oscar and helped make him People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" in 1991.

"Patrick was a really good man, a funny man and one to whom I owe much that I can't ever repay," Goldberg said in a statement. "I believe in 'Ghost's' message, so he'll always be near."

Swayze told Entertainment Weekly in 1990 that "the movies that have had the most powerful effects on my life have been about romantic characters."

He expanded on the effort he put into love scenes for People in 1991.

"It's possibly the scariest thing I do," he said, "doing something so personal and giving people out there the opportunity to see if you're a good kisser or not."

Patrick Wayne Swayze was born on August 18, 1952, in Houston, Texas. His father was an engineering draftsman; his mother was a ballet dancer and later the director of the Houston Ballet Dance Company.

She led her son into the dancing world, which wasn't always easy for a Texas male. Indeed, the young Swayze played football, practiced martial arts and was an accomplished diver and track star while growing up, though he was good enough at dance to earn a college scholarship.

After an early professional job playing Prince Charming in an early '70s version of "Disney on Ice," Swayze returned to Houston, where he met Lisa Niemi, a student of his mother's. The two were married in 1975 and moved to New York to pursue their careers. See timeline of Swayze's life »

Swayze seemed set on a dance career: He studied with the prestigious Joffrey Ballet and joined another company, the Eliot Feld Ballet Company. But surgery for an old football injury ended his ballet career and he turned to acting, nabbing the lead role of Danny Zuko in the long-running Broadway production of "Grease" in 1978, around the time the movie starring John Travolta was hitting theaters. "Grease" earned him some Hollywood attention, and he and Niemi moved West.

After a couple of bit parts, including one in a 1981 episode of "M*A*S*H," Swayze picked up the role of Darrel Curtis in Francis Ford Coppola's 1983 film of "The Outsiders," which also included future stars Matt Dillon, Rob Lowe, Ralph Macchio, Emilio Estevez and Tom Cruise. Swayze was also one of the leads in 1984's "Red Dawn," about teenagers defending their town from a Soviet attack on America.

But it was with "Dirty Dancing" that Swayze hit it big. The film about a girl's coming of age at a Catskills resort in the early '60s was intended for a limited release but became one of the decade's biggest sleeper hits and made Swayze and co-star Jennifer Grey household names.

The film gave birth to a catchphrase -- "Nobody puts Baby in a corner," spoken by Swayze's character to Grey's domineering father (Jerry Orbach) -- and eventually led to a follow-up, 2004's "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights." Swayze even sang a Top 10 hit, "She's Like the Wind," on the film's soundtrack.

Swayze, known as a down-to-earth, nice-guy actor, was determined not to follow a predictable career path.

He followed "Dirty Dancing" with "Road House" (1989) in which he played a manager at a rough-and-tumble bar (the film was particularly popular on late-night cable). He succeeded "Ghost" with "Point Break" (1991), about a group of thieves; "City of Joy" (1992), in which he played a doctor in a poverty-stricken Indian village; and "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" (1995), in which he starred as a drag queen.

''I don't want to be Mr. Romantic Leading Man. I don't want to be the Dance Dude. I don't want to be the Action Guy. If I had to do any one of those all my life, it'd drive me crazy,'' he told Entertainment Weekly in the 1990 interview.

Swayze's career diminished in the late '90s. He broke both legs in 1997 while making a film, "Letters From a Killer," and went into rehab to overcome an admitted drinking problem. In 2000, he was flying in his own twin-engine plane when the plane depressurized; Swayze landed in a housing development in Arizona. Though some witnesses say he appeared intoxicated, he was later revealed to have been suffering from hypoxia, related to the depressurization and his three-pack-a-day cigarette habit.

Swayze re-established his knack for picking sleepers with "Donnie Darko" (2001), the dark film about a troubled student that became a sensation on video. Swayze played a creepy motivational speaker and won raves for his performance.

Swayze's more recent films included a TV version of "King Solomon's Mines" and 2007's "Christmas in Wonderland."

Though he still had the power to make women's hearts flutter -- 22-year-old Scarlett Johansson, upon receiving Harvard's Hasty Pudding Award in February 2007, said her dream date was "probably Patrick Swayze, my dream come true" -- Swayze wasn't too impressed with himself.


"Good-looking people turn me off," he once said. "Myself included."

Swayze is survived by his wife, Lisa, of over 30 years and his mother, Patsy.

2009 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

I WAS GONNA WRITE A LONG BLOG ABOUT THE VMA'S LAST NITE....BUT THANKS TO TWITTER....I KNOW WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE ABOUT THE SHOW, PERFORMANCES, KANYE, AND THAT LIL MAMA? INSTEAD I'M JUST GONNA SAY....


LADY GAGA, THE PRINCESS/"PRINCE" OF AVANTE GARDE, THE MAITRE'D OF NEO GLAM/POP, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN INDIVIDUAL AND SHOWING UP TO SHOW OUT LAST NITE!!! JOB WELL DONE!!!


PINK, YOU'VE OUTDONE YOURSELF ONCE AGAIN, JUST WHEN WE THINK WE KNOW YOU, YOU RAISE THE BAR WITH YOUR DARING CREATIVITY AND EDGY PERFORMANCES. YOU'VE SHOWN US ONCE AGAIN WHY YOU ARE SETTING THE STANDARD!!



TAYLOR SWIFT, YOU GOT SPUNK KID!! MAYBE NEXT YEAR WHEN YOU'RE 18, YOU CAN PUT UP YOUR MIDDLE FINGER AND SAY " KANYE, SHUT THE FUCK UP" LIKE THE REST OF US!! KEEP IT MOVING NONETHELESS!!


KANYE WEST, PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND CHECK IN YOUR BULLSHIT, CATCH THE NEAREST FLIGHT OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE, AND PREPARE FOR A CLEAR LANDING. LAST NITE, WAS TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL AND HIGHLY INCONSIDERATE!! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? PLEASE DONT LEAVE THAT DECISION UP TO THE MASSES, YOU THINK YOU'RE UNINHIBITED, THESE LIONS ARE OLDER THAN YOU. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND PURCHASE DESIGNER ICESKATES KIDDO, YOUR WALKING ON THIN ICE!!


JAY-Z/ALICIA KEYS, WONDERFUL COLLABO!! TWO HEAVY WEIGHTS ON ONE STAGE!! NO CAPTION NEEDED, BUT PLEASE PICK UP YOUR JAW!!


LIL MAMA? THANKS TO YOU (AND KANYE), SECURITY WILL BE DOUBLED NEXT YEAR AT THE VMA'S. I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS THE EMBARRASEMENT I FELT FOR YOU LAST NITE. ARE YOU CRAZY? JAY-Z AND ALICIA KEYS? IF THERE WAS EVER ANY HOPE FOR YOUR MUSICAL CAREER, YOU PROLLY JUST SLAYED YOURSELF FEROCIOUSLY WITH THAT MOVE. HAVEN'T YOU EVER PLAYED CHESS (YES YOU ARE THE PAWN, IF YOU WERE UNSURE). YOU ARE NOT EVEN A DISCUSSION WHEN IT COMES TO MUSIC, OR POP CULTURE, UNLESS WE ARE DISCUSSING DIFFERENT WAYS OF HOW TO GET YOU OFF OF ABDC!! WHAT WERE YOU WEARING? I CANT BELIEVE YOU LEFT YOUR HOUSE LOOKING LIKE A "RAINBOW" MODEL. (NOTE: RAINBOW IS THE HIGH END $10 DOLLAR CLOTHING STORE, CHECK YOUR LOCAL HOOD)....I'M JUST DONE WITH YOU FOR THIS YEAR....AND IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD FOR SPRING EITHER!!

OTHER IMAGES OF HER LOOKING LIKE A DAMN FOOL!!!




MADONNA, THANK U FOR SUCH A GENUINE SPEECH AND A HUMBLED HEART. YOUR WORDS WERE VERY HEART FELT AND SINCERE. YOU'VE SHOWN US ONCE AGAIN THAT THERE IS HUMANITY WITHIN THE CELEBRITY AND IF THE LEGENDS CAN EXEMPLIFY SUCH CHARACTER, KANYE SOOO CAN YOU!!


JANET...I'M SPEECHLESS, I CANT BEGIN TO MANIFEST THE WORDS BECAUSE MY HEART IS FULL. I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU AND THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF THE ELITE VOICES TO THE SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN YOU. YOU'VE ALLOWED MANY GREAT INTERLUDES FOR DANCE IN MY LIFE AND IM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.

ALBUM REVIEW: Whitney Houston " I look to you"

First let me begin by stating that WHITNEY HOUSTON, THE NAME, THE LEGEND, THE ICON, is still in fact regarded as a Benchmark, A creative/artistic standard for modern day singers/entertainers of all stripes,shapes, and colors. CAUTION: PLEASE DONT BE FOOLED BY ALL THE PRESS (GOOD AND BAD) WITHIN THE PAST 7 YEARS OF HER HIATUS!! SHE IS STILL AND WILL ALWAYS BE EVERYTHING STATED ABOVE IF NOT MORE.

It's been 7 years since Whitney Houston has released an album, and 2009's " I LOOK TO YOU"(ARISTA/RCA MUSIC GROUP) is the true definition of "Soul Food", please indulge!! From the Title Track, " I LOOK TO YOU" (Written by R. Kelly), to the uptempo, one of my favorite cuts on the album " MILLION DOLLAR BILL" (written by Alicia Keys,produced by Swizz Beats), Whitney has undeniably done it again. The album debuted at No 1. with sales exceeding 304,600. Not only is this Whitney Houston's highest debut sales week, it is her first No. 1 solo album since 1987's smash hit Whitney, which spawned several hits including "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." That album was also the first album to debut at No. 1 by a woman. 1992's The Bodyguard Soundtrack is Houston's biggest accomplishment with "I Will Always Love You" being one of the most successful singles in music's history, the album being No. 1 for 20 weeks (for those who are unaware, there are 52 weeks in a year!!..things that make you go hmmmm!!)


While Houston's voice may seem a bit deeper and raspier, her vocal delivery is still powerful, captivating, and engaging. There is a smooth, soothing quality whitney has always been able to deliver. The conviction and tone is still evident if not more today because Whitney is a soul singer, the motivation comes from the depths of the gut mixed with the human spirit and journey, and when the mouth opens there is a story being told.

Although, Im pleased with the project, If I could of had my own personal input in the production, I would of liked to see the collaboration of Houston with ( Lalah Hathaway, Kandi, Diddy, Mary J Blige, Fantasia, Joe, Tank, and Missy Elliot). Im excited for more live performances, interviews (hopefully that includes WENDY WILLIAMS), Editorial shoots, Endorsements, and All the good things I think Whitney deserves.

BELOW ARE SOME OF THE JOINTS THAT IM CURRENTLY BLASTING ON MY " SHOWER PLAYLIST" LOL....ENJOY AND SUPPORT " I LOOK TO YOU" - WHITNEY HOUSTON

What ever happened to straight up answers?

I think I missed when ambiguity and interpretations are how people communicate. Is it more comforting to walk away from a situtation, after consciously seeking clarity, still not knowing what the fuck the resolution was?

I ALSO missed when, if I say no that means you are going to agree and then act like I parenthetically said yes, and vice versa. 

Most importantly, I wonder how people feign for real interactions when their whole life is a hidden agenda. 

Just some things that have been making my life difficult. If you can not relate to this then... it is of you I speak.

I ain't worried 'bout y'all cuz I'm already me!

"If you want my advice...you've made a mistake already. By asking me. By asking anyone. Never ask people. Not about your work. Don't you know what you want? How can you stand it, not to know?"

Not to be preachy, because I do not specialize in telling other people what to do, I tell them where to go, but I think this is an important tidbit to share. 

No man is an island, and all that (I picked that up from my horticulturalist), but there are certain things that do not need consultation. In this individualist/ capitalist culture it is very off-putting that others peoples feelings should be considered in order for one to feel validated in their place in this life. It is a threat to actually not give a fuck about other people's feelings, in regards to your natural progression. Especially when you were blessed with conviction and knowledge. I am saying all of this in the scope of rationale and logic, of course. 

Being the space cadet/ overthinking enthusiast I am, I constantly zoom out to the vast mystery of the Universe and realize that in the grander scheme of things, my drive and happiness is the onliest thing thats going to make the uncertainty of my miniscule existence worth it. It gets hectic down here, and it is easy to lose sight, steam and esteem. People are great sounding boards but even still, to question your decisions reveals you have no direction and are selfless. How can you not know your self?

I have been thinking....

Apparently for a really long time. 

With the hype that has been surrounding the long awaited sequel to Raekwon the Chef's, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... I have been confused as to what Hip Hop purists have been complaining about. 

Last night I was conversing with my brother, biblicallynice.blogspot.com, about what it is that is making everyone say that this was/is a 'good look' for hip hop. Do not misunderstand what I am saying, the album is a solid effort and without sounding retro, it brought me back to a place I forgot. The hard, gritty sounds of people that are hungry and dedicated, who lead real lives before/ throughout their entry to the 'game' and have things to discuss. Delicately balancing the ill's of their behaviours, environs, and circumstances with the fact that they still must do what they have to do to survive. That being... selling crack. I mean the nigga's name is the Chef. Is it this ephemeral past we are holding on to, that has us thinking that, as long as the artist is not lying about the amount of money they have and their level in the drug dealing hierarchy, or the fact that they were actually middle-class but, in order to sell they must fabricate the realities of the impoverished that rhyming about selling crack and the projects is a step in the right direction for us?

Pyrex visions, birds flying south, bricks, kilos, cubans, columbians, crackheads... It's all the same. 

Yea, I still own that shit, though; don't get it twisted. 

Decoy: My Life on the DL

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you, without a decent post to skim through...

So, these are some of things that happen when you waste your mental energy attracting bullshit activities and bastard tactics in lieu of attracting your happiness...

A very dear friend and I attended a networking/ happy hour, as alcohol is the tried and true social lubricant, and amidst the sitting in the corner talking to each other, she was introduced, by a host, to the man that gave me what I have been looking for.

They had already begun their conversation when I joined them. I had been politely chatting it up with an old acquaintance. Either way, I enter at the part where he was stating that most of the people at the event were young, had only been out of undergrad for a couple of years. Usually, when people reach a certain age they do not ask about one's profession. He was also telling us that he had not realized it, until he had gotten older, that sisters need to bag brothers while they are still in college that is the only place where you will have a concentration of black men that are about their business. As the women that concentrated  on their careers get older, its slim pickings and they end up bitter, since they decided to put it off. 

We are like...ok

Meanwhile, he is complaining about the party, waiting to leave so that he can go elsewhere. When it is time for my friend and I to leave, he tells us to write our names down so that he may 'facebook' us later. The next morning I see I have a friend request, I accept, and a little while letter I receive a message in my inbox. The correspondence lreads as follows: 

him:  so hows married life lol?you didnt mention that last night whenI was discussing bagging a brother when young lol

me: no, i am not married, lol. in any way. it was something my friend and I did a while ago and she won't let me take it down.

him: ok send me your cell number if you like ....ciao

I sent my number, out of curiousity, since no man has ever "asked" for my number and ended with a ciao. At least not one that feigned interest in me.  Anyway, after a text test run, you know when people send you a text so you can have their number and upon your response to having received it they take that as a green light to communicate, I receive a text over the weekend asking me if I was free. Wzup. Do you have a car? And are you free today like 2:30?....

really?

Essentially,  he wanted to take me to the homo thug convention that was Joe and Chico DeBarge performing at Summerstage. He did not want to drive but he guessed he would since I did not have a vehicle. I opted out since I had to do something, like my nails. Later, he asks me if I wanted to see Anita Baker the next day. I said yes. After a delay in my train situation, he picks me up from the train station slightly annoyed. In the car he points out the place I need to watch my step when exiting because people tend to miss it and the dirt is hard to get out. You know people, when they come to your house or get in your car don't respect your shit. I took note, just in case I needed to ever get back into his car again. Circling, looking for parking, he is so annoyed we can not even have a conversation, I suppose he was concentrating on not having the bitch fit we both knew he was capable of. We finally find a parking spot and he is complaining about the circumambulation the barricades require. I am already at wow. We reach the barricades and have to walk single file... he walks in front of me and does not check for me until we make it all the way into the park. Now that I think about it, there were men doing their jail workout in the playground area of the park...so, yeah.

Either way, we found a spot to sit down, after moving three times, and he is annoyed because he can't see the stage. After a couple of minutes he gestures to these women in front of us and says  I think they're, ya know. Lesbians? I asked, he said yes. He then asked me about my experiences and I shared what was pertinent,  then I asked about him. He flipped. Outraged, he shifts his body language so that he has cut me off, and asks me if he looked like a person that experimented. I said no, because it was opposites day, for that moment. He then, after cooling down a bit, says a man is usually not going to tell you right away if he has experimented. He'd probably wait a year or so to tell you something like that. 

Again, really?

Time passes, every ten minutes or so, he stands up and looks around for a good three minutes, my guess is to cruise. He sits back down to say that it may sound conceited but the woman that ends up with him forever is lucky. I asked why. She has more to benefit from the situation than I do. Women need stability and I have that. I envy her, actually. Not to mention he said he was loyal, thats all he could reveal at the moment, I would see what he was talking about. Like I really want to participate in the anal wart fuckery of a down low man. Not to mention, I have not heard a man, that was interested in women, say and rationalize his masculinity the way he had. Saying he is not really emotional, would never back down from a fight, that as a man he does not need love, and women need that. And women need to be with one man but because he was a man he could be with 50,000 women. And the only time he touched me, at all, was to show me where to watch my step in his car. 

I had to leave early and I did. 

That's what I get for asking for stupid shit. 

SMACK IT! FLIP IT! BUT PLEASE RUB IT DOWN!!

EVER WITNESS SOMETHING SO CRUEL AND HEARTBREAKING IT JUST DESTROYS YOUR SPIRIT INSTANTANEOUSLY? A TRAGEDY, A FATAL BLOW TO THE HUMAN PSYCHE? A "WHATTHEFUCK" MOMENT?

NO? WELL YOU'RE ABOUT TO HAVE ONE NOW!!

SO I'M RIDING THE A TRAIN THIS MORNING AROUND 4AM, (COUGHS)...EXCUSE ME I MEAN THE LOCAL A TRAIN.... AND THIS TALL BEAUTIFUL WOMAN GETS ON AT 14TH STREET/8TH AVENUE. SHE WAS WEARING A SHORT PURPLE DRESS REVEALING LONG MODEL-ESQUE LEGS, ACCESSORIES ON POINT,HAIR ON POINT, FACE ON POINT, BODY ON POINT, SHE WAS JUST ONE OF THOSE ON POINT TYPE OF BISHES!

UNTIL.....

I LOOKED DOWN AND SHE HAD ON A POWERFUL PAIR OF FLIP FLOPS WITH THE MOST ASHIEST, CRUSTIEST, TORE UP FEET I HAVE SEEN...PROLLY MY WHOLE LIFE. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE PAUSE MOMENTS WHERE YOU CAN'T MOVE AND YOU JUST LOSE ALL TRAIN OF THOUGHT BECAUSE WHATEVER YOU WERE DISCUSSING OR THINKING PRIOR TO THAT JUST EVAPORATED INTO THIN AIR AND YOU CANT GET IT BACK WITHOUT SHOCK THERAPY OR HYPNOSIS.

I WAS STUNNED, EMBARRASED, APPALLED, AND NAUSEAUS. I WANTED TO RUN OUT OF JURASSIC PARK, FAR AWAY FROM SKIDROW, BEYOND THIS NIGHTMARE OF A SIGHT.

ARE YOU CRAZY? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND? I WANTED TO ASK HER THESE THINGS BUT MY MOUTH WOULDN'T OPEN, MY FACE WOULDN'T MOVE FROM LIFE'S AUTO-BOTOX INJECTION OF THE STANK FACE.

I WONT EXTEND THE VISUAL ANY LONGER BUT MY CLOSING ARGUMENT IS SIMPLY; PLEASE GOVERN YOUR FEET ACCORDINGLY AND WITH THE UPMOST RESPECT. BATHE THEM (FOR SOME, THIS MAY REQUIRE BOILING THEM IN HOLY WATER AND LYSOL), LOVE THEM (PEDICURES, ESPECIALLY IN THE SUMMER TIME), AND RUB THEM BAD BOYS DOWN WITH SOME LOTION (GET DEEP BETWEEN THE CRACKS AND THAT BACK HEEL). ITS DISRESPECTFUL TO YOURSELF AND THE GENERAL PUBLIC WHEN YOU DECEIVE US AND MAKE US BELIEVE YOU ARE ONE OF THE CROWS FROM THE WIZ.

PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF....AND EACH OTHER

ONE LOVE

LOLOLOLOLOL..........

BITCH LOOK AT ME NOW!!!

GOT AN OLD EX THAT USED TO TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT? NEVER WANTED TO TAKE YOU OUT? ALWAYS TRIED TO PUT YOU DOWN? PEOPLE IN YOUR PAST ALWAYS TRYNA DESTROY YOUR POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON LIFE? DREAM KILLERS SURROUNDING YOU? THIS IS WHAT YOU TELL EM!!

THE SUMMER HATER ANTHEM FOR 2009!!





Go download your copy of the smash hit single “Bitch Look At Me Now” from Chrishan featuring Meech. Now available @ iTunes, Amazon, Napster, Emusic, Rhapsody, MTV.com, and many more.

Now playing on MTV. Call and request on your local radio station!

DEGRASSI HIGH GOES HOOD.....

FAMILIAR FACE BUT WITH A NEW GIG, HIP HOP NEWCOMER DRAKE A.K.A. AUBREY GRAHAM, MAKES A BUZZ WITH HIS HIT SINGLE " BEST I'VE EVER HAD". STAY TUNED AND TAKE NOTE...I THINK DRAKE MIGHT BE STICKING AROUND...RAPPERS MIGHT WANNA STEP THEIR GAME WAY UP!!

BELOW IS ONE OF MY FAV JOINTS " BRAND NEW" - DRAKE



WATCHUTHINK?

Get Your Mouth Away from My DICK

* no comment

Happy Rainy Friday

Katharine McPhee in Paparazzi Protection from Katharine McPhee

But seriously, I need Black people to do a lot better. I would extrapolate but I do not want to offend. If you see my issue...

TreZure the Empress

http://www.thisisrealmusic.com/articles/40509/trezure_the_empress.php

NIKE AIR "YEEZY" .....SON!!!

So last week, Kanye West made another contribution to the world of Fashion with the release of his highly anticipated Nike Air Yeezy Sneaker. If you're familiar with Kanye West, then you can already expect unique innovations with Super Swag and Hella Charm. I was witness to the dozens of young aspiring swaggers who lined up in front of SELECTED stores to cop the " Freshest shit to come out all year" according to many. Correction! I have witnessed dozens of young aspiring swaggers who lined up in front of SELECTED stores 3 days prior to the Annual sale date (YES...I KNOW it's just sneakers right?). I dig the fact that people want to stay fashionable but I dont understand how many people (especially young black men) who are on these lines can get up early to cop a new pair of Kanye West Sneakers but wont get up early to go get a job or go to school? Why do we aspire to be like the ones on TV but dont want to put in the work like they do? Are we Ego-Tripping ( I can look like that dude without even putting in the work becuz i'm that fly) C'mon!!! I just dont understand the idea of copping a new pair of Kanye West Sneakers but you don't have money to buy a weekly metrocard to go out and look for a job? (Even tho you are the shit to all the other jobless, broke, aint got shit goin on people in your hood). Lemme check myself!! Am i goin off for no reason at all? Am I caring about something that I really should just turn the other cheek to? Am I totally tripping? NOPE!! Because of the fact that I have young neices and nephews who I dont want to grow up and think That they need to be validated by people in their environments who are trying to create a standard of living in the hood where you dont have to work hard for anything but just act like you "got it like that".....Fantasy vs Reality? You pick and choose!

THE NIKE AIR YEEZY: "NEW SCHOOL OF COMFORT" ...LOL YEAH OK!! MY FEET MAY FEEL AND LOOK AMAZING BUT MY POCKETS LOOK REAL SHADY!! HOW COMFORTABLE IS THAT?? ...

P.S. THIS IS NOT A KNOCK AT KANYE WEST, I RESPECT AND ENJOY HIS MUSIC AND ARTISTRY VERY MUCH. THIS IS HOWEVER A KNOCK AT THOSE PEOPLE WHO WAKE UP EVERYDAY AND HIDE BEHIND THE BIGGER PICTURE OF SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS WITHOUT EVER MAKING AN EFFORT TO ACHIEVE THEIR OWN "BIGGER PICTURE" AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS. ALSO, TO THE PARENTS PURCHASING OR GIVING THEIR CHILDREN(YOUNG MINORITES WHO ARE NOT GOING TO SCHOOL, NOT DOING THE THINGS THAT CHILDREN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING)MONEY TO GO AND COP THESE LUXARY ITEMS, REWARDING THEIR CHILDREN INSTEAD OF REINFORCING DISCIPLINE AND A STRICT CODE OF SELF RESPECT, YOU ARE CONTRIBUTING TO THE CURSE. I BELIEVE THERE IS A PURPOSE FOR EVERYONE!! HOW FAR CAN YOU GET BY TRYING TO WALK IN SOMEBODY ELSE'S SHOES?? GET UP, GET OUT, AND GET SOMETHING!! JUST KNOW THAT KANYE DID...AND YES!!! YOU'RE WEARING IT LOLOL...

" RELAX AND TAKE NOTE" - BIGGIE

For more info keep reading below!! LOL


Nike Sportswear and Grammy award winning recording artist Kanye West present the highly anticipated Nike Air Yeezy sneaker in Spring 2009.The shoe, which takes West’s nickname Yeezy, draws upon the innovations from Nike’s rich sporting history and fuses them with original lines, materials, and design elements that reflect West’s unique style.

The Air Yeezy was developed from a strong relationship between West and Nike. Partnering with Nike Creative Director, Mark Smith, Kanye was taken through the product creation process, the same way athletes have with Nike Design for the past 37 years. This creative partnership of Smith and West’s talents as designers yielded a unique Nike Sportswear sneaker worth the wait. “Kanye is a truly creative talent,” said Smith. “He’s a natural designer-partnerships like this always enhance the creative experience and the end product.” West agrees that the partnership with Nike has been exciting. “Nike is such an important brand to me,” said West. “Whether you are on the court, in the street, in the club, at school, Nike represents excellence, the standard in design. Growing up, we looked forward to the release of new Nike’s the way we would an album by our favorite artist. So the opportunity to collaborate on a design with Mark Smith and Nike Design has been a dream come true, and a great experience.”


From the start, West and Nike’s shared vision was clear: to create a modern classic. An original Nike footwear style, that reflects elements of Nike’s sporting past, and remixes them with Nike innovation to deliver a unique shoe.

The creative process of the Air Yeezy began with the discussion around ideas and inspirations. The shoe began to take shape through a series of drawings and samples, each pulling inspiration and reference from some of Nike’s iconic innovations and rich design history, across both Basketball and Sportswear styles.

A careful balance was sought, each time new elements were added, with existing elements being taken away - a design process Smith refers to as “reductionism”. “Nike shoes need to function and always be innovative,” said Smith. “So the first thing we did was to make sure the design process that Kanye and Nike Design went through, mirrored that of our athletes.” “I’ve been designing Nike’s in my sketch pad since the fourth grade,” said West. “So to say I’ve been prepared for this would be an understatement. The really fun and challenging part for me was learning about Nike’s design process, learning more about fabrics and functions and colorways, and all of the details that go into designing a shoe of this quality.”

Following the fabled tradition of Nike’s design process, West and Smith went through a series of one-on-one design sessions. At Nike the ultimate test is one of performance, where the design meets the athlete’s movements. “Kanye could wear and perform in these shoes and really identify how we could make the shoes perform better.” Supplanting center court with center stage, West provided critical feedback on how the shoe performed throughout the course of his 2-3 hour performance sets, where the first prototypes of the Nike Air Yeezy were seen outside of Nike’s World Headquarters in Beaverton, OR.

THE NIKE AIR YEEZY: NEW SCHOOL OF COMFORT.
Born from Kanye West’s creative passion, built with Nike design and performance innovation, The Air Yeezy was fine-tuned on stages around the globe, challenging convention by remixing the past to create something uniquely new, as only Nike Sportswear can.

West is known for his non-stop energy both on the stage and off so the Air Yeezy had to support and sustain West from start to finish. An almost obsessive focus was put on delivering supreme comfort throughout the development of the shoe. Equipped with debossed ankle collar pods for added support and protection, extra-thick sock liners, a forefoot support strap, original functional tension lace loops, and Phylon tooling taken from the 1987 Nike Air Assault for added performance and comfort-all developed and integrated with one goal in mind: to keep Kanye on lock down in cushioned comfort during his performances during his many notoriously strenuous artistic live performances.

These performance attributes have been meticulously wrapped in premium full grain leather uppers and adorned with original design details that are uniquely Kanye and identifiably Nike. The remastered Nike Air Assault outsole is treated to glow-in-the-dark properties and will illuminate when the light is low. The forefoot support strap is premium grade patent leather and is of no-stitch construction. Clean seams are used throughout except for a premium suede toe wrap feature with visible stitch detail. Emblazoned across the Air Yeezy is an exclusive “Y” repeat pattern, as either a debossed or lasered detail, which takes inspiration from the Jordan brands iconic Elephant print material. This graphic treatment was developed by West and Smith to pay tribute not only to the name of the shoe and it’s co-creator, but also to the various moments in history that spurred West’s initial inspiration for the Nike Air Yeezy.

The Nike Air Yeezy will release in Spring 2009. Three colorways will be available. The first in April 2009 will be the Zen Grey/LT Charcoal color way, followed this will be followed in May by a Black/ Black version, and in June with the final Net/Net color way.

DE-STRESSED JEANS!!! RUGGED AND SEXY?

THE FAD OF 2009!!DE-STRESSED JEANS!! I DIG IT......

HOWEVER, I PREFER TO SPEND $20 AT A VINTAGE SHOP CREATING MY OWN INTERPRETATION OF THE $150-$170 JEANS SHOWN ABOVE (CAN BE FOUND AT TOPSHOP AND MADEWELL (SOHO,NYC) )

I have been thinking//formulating

As of late, I have been exposed to relationships that exist and function outside the realms of the average. This is not a description of dysfunction as much as it is a nod to the observation that relationships, of any type, are tailor-made and should be a personal fit to the individuals that are compatible enough to work as a unit.

With that being said, I have been drawing conclusions about dating, courtship and commitment. In the never ending occupation of examining my life and decisions in a timely manner, these are what I know to suit where I am now. According to my close friend, last night, the idea I am about to propose is something that does not normally exist and is of a futuristic, sophisticated nature. I do not agree. However, I think the only time sexual relationships are honest is when they are of an illicit nature, involving cheating. Because the preoccupation of at least one of the parties in a committed relationship, these circumstances facilitate open and clear discourse about the nature and progression, or lack thereof. I think this honesty should exist in relationships that are not illicit. I do think it is of interest to have a close, sexual relationship, meaning one in which the state of each's emotions and expectations are laid out in the beginning and revisited as necessary. This does not necessarily mean, full disclosure, in fact it does not mean that or becoming best friends. It only allows for each person to maintain the individual goals in the other aspects of their respective lives while sharing their bed and some of their time with a partner. In any case, I think this would prevent a lot of feelings from getting hurt due to the initial standards and conduct, allowing for the progression of intimacy or clean dissolution. Doing or not doing something to not hurt the other party does nothing but create a stifling discomfort and suffering on both parts. Keep it real with yourself and you can keep it real with your sexual partner/ girlfriend/ boyfriend/ best friend/ whatever.

Due to the external pressure and standards, of being single, married, and child-bearing and feeling a certain way if you see that you are not reaching the deadline you set at 16 or even 21, I think a lot of people fall into a trap of insecurity which uses the association of a relationship as a indicator of well-rounded success. Too many unnecessary compromises are made, comfort is sacrificed and we are swept up in a tidal of frantic decision making. I am a big fan of moving slowly, if both parties are working on their adulthood and have a mutual respect for each other to communicate about placement and priorities.

I know this is possible. It is a clean and rational way to deal with the interpersonal intimacy of physical relationships, with people that you are not just trying to fuck, of course. That is a different story altogether. And above all else, do not settle for just fucking someone you have feelings for just to maintain intimacy.

This requires that all personal motives and feelings be fully addressed and resolved before involving another person in your fuckery.

Eat up.

ABUNDANCE

I recently went to visit my brother on the West Coast. He told me about the second album by PPP (formerly Platinum Pied Pipers, titled, Abundance.

To make a long story short, PPP comprises of two producers, and the featured albums has their tracks, cohesively, and and ensemble set of singers to be found throughout the album. Coultrain, Karma Stewart, and Jamila Reagan, with one song with Neco Redd on vocals. A dance party that encompasses American black music, so not just one of the default genres, but a natural progression of music, using basic structural ideas appropriated to create a fresh sound without seemingly trying. I would also like to note that the lyrical content, as it is hard to hear and understand every word, due to the layered vocal arrangements, is of an intelligent quality. The ideas of love and relationships, the good and bad, and personal motivation, are present throughout the album but new language adds a much needed dimension to the rigmarole.

I enjoy it.

"Triple P, the debut from the then-Platinum Pied Pipers (now just PPP), was a deserved recipient of glowing reviews and dropped jaws throughout independent music media. Refining if not revolutionizing modern soul, Triple P announced a new player in 2005. In 2009 the player is established and Abundance announces a new game.

There is something inherently carefree about this album. It’s unfortunate to realise, but what sets Abundance apart from so many modern releases is that it is obviously the result of a deep musical passion and a delight in musical experimentation. Wajeed and Saadiq stick to the decidedly Detroit formula of big drums and dirty synths, but manage to give the motor city’s model a new chassis to handle the now even stronger bumps. Alongside the rejuvenated production is PPP’s refined vocal lineup: Previously a mash up of all Detroit had to offer, the vocal responsibilities now lie with the smoky tones of Coultrain, the soul of Karma Stewart and the sugar of Jamila Raegan. With the smaller cast, Abundance is as cohesive as any producer-based album could hope to be.

Abundance breaks the boundaries of R&B and is far too much fun to be labeled neo-soul. Sitting happily in it’s own genre, Abundance is an album many will be compared to in years to come."

source

Cliche Anyone?

Happy Holiday for all of us that need things to celebrate, no matter how minute. DO not get me wrong I am on of those people. If you are a chronic (pun intended) participant, like myself, I am sure you do not a need a date to get closer to Jah.

Here is that pep to get you through the work day...










Brown Sugar - DAngelo

just a few of the many...

I get up Early

This is TreZure the Empress performing at Public Assembly for Forever Fresh 5.

Right now, live, this is my favourite part of her set because she is speaking to women like me. Caught up in the individual vs. subscription to partnership, sweet and mean as I ever wanted to be.

Going from looking for someone to hold my right side, in the morning, because I work hard and I love crazy to establishing that...

My man don't need no sugar in his coffee. He likes me mean.
He needs his mean old black woman.

And when I am good and ready, I will need him too.

C'mon are you fucking serious? ...Like Fa'real?

LORD JESUS PLEASE TAKE ME HIGHER!!! I CAN'T!!!....

SOOO....I WAS CLEANING OUT MY INBOX AND CAME ACROSS AN EMAIL I RECIEVED ON MY BIRTHDAY FROM A FORMER CLASSMATE THAT MADE ME WANT TO TAKE A CAB TO HER BOROUGH AND SLAP HER. PARDON ME, BUT BITCH I'M ALMOST A QUARTER AND YOU SENT ME A BEAUTIFUL EMAIL AND FUCKED IT ALL UP AT THE END BY PUTTING " SINCERELY, ALEXUS A.K.A. LITTLE LEXI A.K.A. LEX BOOGIE"

WHAT THE F**k!!....(INHALE)

BITCH!! ARE YOU INSANE? YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME AND YOU'RE STILL INCORPORATING THE OLD SCHOOL ELEMENTARY THROWBACK "A.K.A." REFERENCE. I MEAN, WHO THE HELL DOES THAT. YOU WERE BORN IN THE EARLY 80'S AND YOU'RE SENDING ME EMAILS LIKE YOU JUST GOT OFF THE GOTDAMN MAGIC SCHOOL BUS (BY THE WAY TELL KISHA I SAID HEY WHEN YOU SEE HER..SHE'S MY FAV)

I DONT GET IT. I MEAN AM I JUST OVERDOSING ON MY GROWN MAN SWAGG THAT THIS BEHAVIOR IS JUST UNBEARABLY UN-FUCKIN-REAL TO ME? OR DOES "ALEXUS" NEED TO TURN IN HER "GOOSEBUMPS" SCHOOL BOOKS AND STEP HER GAME UP? BY THE WAY THIS IS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO WORKS A CORPORATE 9-6.

PLEASE TELL ME IF I'M WRONG? ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME UNDERSTANDS WHY I FIND THIS TO BE RATHER RIDIC!

THANKS FOR READING

P.S. THE FACT THAT IM WRITING THIS MAKES MY PALM ITCH!! AND PLEASE DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER HAD THE " SLAP A BITCH ITCH" ...ITS ACTUALLY VERY THERAPEUTIC IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF.

Face 2 Face Vs. Myspace??

Soooo True!! After viewing this please refer to my previous blog " Me, YOu and your sidekick" .....whats your point of view?

Fat, Black and Ugly as ever, however

He stayed Coogi down to the socks...
and I am not sure if this is still too soon, but I will always feel it's time to get paid, blow up like the (see above).

Anyway, when I heard Biggie was killed, I was in church. At this time, I was in seventh grade, we did not listen to secular music in the morning, my mother was not having it. Since the shooting occurred in la madrugada it was very easy to not hear about immediately. My peers in my church class, as we were divided by age groups, were talking about his death, and of course linking it with TuPac, the whole time we were in Sunday class, and not doing a Bible role play. I merely wrote them off as being misinformed, because EVERYONE else was wrong. Exactly. At the end of church, on the way home, we were allowed to listen to the radio station we preferred which was Hot 97, where we found out that what I had been hearing that day was in fact true. Biggie was shot and DOA in Los Angeles, California.
Damn.
The fucked up thing about that was, Mo' Money, Mo' Problems was the single after, Hypnotize. Diddy, in his verse on Mo' Money states mess around with DOA be on your way. Right?

I was hurt. I think I am still hurt. I remember one time Biggie stopped by HOT 97 on his way back to New Jersey and shouted out Faith, Chyna and CJ, saying he had to get medicine for Chyna because she was sick. I also remember hearing him talk about his next album, Life After Death, and how he was not in the same frame of mind as Ready to Die, he actually wanted to live and this album would show his life on the other side. He was saying that the album was almost finished how excited he and focused he was. I remember it like it was not TWELVE YEARS ago.

To this day he is the only rapper, and one of the few musical artists to put out a classic double album.

For the nicest MC, niggas know the steelo

Rule Number 7

Money and blood don't mix like two dicks and no bitch, find yourself in serious shit.

It is important to establish the rules and parameters in any relationship. What can be seen as weakness and naivete could easily be a quarry of ruthless demeanor and cut throat attitude, especially when the more outwardly astute uses this misinformation as a tool of manipulation or, simply, bullyfooting. What can be seen as a friendly meeting with no documentation can turn into you be being pushed out with no evidence of your participation and relevance. In turn, not only losing what you firmly believed in, but potentially damaging a long standing relationship with people you thought you knew. Only to realize they never respected you enough to take you seriously.

Without a tight infrastructure and delegation of responsibility, consider personal and business relationships null and void. No parameters, means no code of conduct, meaning everybody is wrong and no one is right, but someone will always win.


See: Ten Crack Commandments

Potential = Imagination

potential: possible, as opposed to actual.

This was the very first definition, according to www.dictionary.com

Stemming from a conversation I was having with a co worker; in the context of romantic relationships, knowing when to let go, knowing how and why one has to be secure in an unconventional relationship, and the place of the well intentioned other party, the word potential came up. To which I responded by saying that if you say that someone has potential, it means that you are creative and imaginative enough to envision their achievements and actions if they developed the way you have projected. Mentally molding the person while biding time until they reach your satisfaction.

This is not to say that potential is not real and that people that exhibit promise do not fulfill. What I am saying is that potential should be no one's saving grace. People do what they want to do, point blank, what they can do is not for you to decide.

Be or Not

In the never ending attempt to simplify, I am grappling with whether or not things can be black or white, and whether a grey area is, in fact, healthy.

Things only seem to be complicated when; there is too much going on and nothing is done, the fear of hurting feelings, or just the straight up fear of making decisions because, logically, to not choose, means you get it all.

No, not at all. Not never.

Ok, maybe for a little bit. But, not without the confusion that could have been spared if the road seemingly less comfortable was just taken in the first place. We are not characters in novels, or semi-autobiographical pieces on one dimensional heroic figures, we are human beings, we have feelings, and consciouses, and balls that can not seem to descend at times when personal preferences versus social obligations are concerned. Shit hurts, it is tiresome, it gets overwhelming, my only responsibility to this shit is to decide what my next steps are and work towards that, besides communicating with parties involved, if necessary. I am not trying to get through it, I'm is or I'm ain't. Point blank. To try means that any effort is worth value because you are supposed to be acknowledged for trying, while your failure is ignored. Decidedly harsh, but as I have grown older, I need some pillars upon which to measure the value of my existence and time amongst those living in the grey areas, trying to sort out their bullshit.

I am either doing, or I am sleeping. You have my time and respect or you do not. No more complicated relationships with acquaintances based on present company. I can or I will not. Simple. Black and white. I allow my humanity to mar the flawless nature of my beliefs, and I am good with that, so I know where I need to reconcile. As for others, I am no judge of the quality of someone else's life. I am too selfish for that. Rather, I will discern what the relationship needs to be upon interaction. I can no longer run for shelter in the complacency of my position in this world, I make my decisions, I live with them, black or white, usually right, because I am rational, but if wrong, that is the meal I will eat.

Basically, I am in a relationship with myself, and have no time for interference.

Just Open that Chest and

TreZure the Empress

Google Alerts

Another noteworthy act of the evening was TreZure The Empress. Her band exudes the sounds of Chaka Khan, Fela Kuti, Lauryn Hill, with a little bit of ska flavor. With an onstage personality of Sharon Jones, and a nightingale voice, TreZure’s voice was soft enough to lull you to sleep, but brilliant enough to move crowds. Scampering around the stage, in her Motown-diva little black dress, and owning the stage as her band members stayed stationary in their places, TreZure electrified the audience with her dramatic effect, and whole body performance.

source: http://beyondrace.com/reviews/concerts/1028-the-aquarian-inauguration-celebration-southpaw


I never knew Murda could feel so good....
Cavalier featuring TreZure the Empress




Let Me Go... (if only you knew where this song started)

Untitled

I am going to the fashion show for this line tonight.
I will update for my opinion of the clothing and occurrences.





picture source:http://www.highsnobette.com/news/2008/09/12/untitled-1111-ss-09-simply-fa-bu-lous/


Here is a link to their blog

And a link to their website: Untitled 11:11

*Update

Here is a link to the show... I do not own a digital camera so I had to pull them here. Herald de Paris

These are some of my faves!

Happy Valentine's Day!

This is one of the most brilliant songs I have heard, I think ever.
The lyrics are fantastic and smart and its just great. Even if you aren't on that love shit. You can't knock the hustle.

Please, its on me.

The track is called Vertigo on Cloud 9:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/55542667e089876f/

His name is Gordon Voidwell
www.myspace.com/gordonvoidwell

The Convivial Gentry Presents

All I can Say is...

Fuck a 9-5 cuz a nigga tired of slaving...

Its Black History Month

Learn your own history.
Stop perpetuating the lies, find a child and tell them the truth.

In the Spirit of Self Preservation...

I wonder why I volley between loving people and getting on my own nerves for thinking I love people so much.

People, is a general term for my desire to be out and amongst the jovial masses, but at the end of the day, if there is nothing really to celebrate but a week that has gone by, then it would seem that we all were pretty lonely and desperate looking for a crowded room in our likeness. Lonely and desperate are not used in the sense that we are out searching for sex or someone to love. Rather, I say it to mean that, in struggling for a rhyme and reason to this life, what the purpose/ objective, personal goals, and hardships, and the desire to be important to someone/ enough people to make it seem worth it, we run to the public to embrace us, only to realize we have jumped into the looking glass, hoping shards of it did not puncture too deeply.

Ruud van Empel

On January 29 th. the third solo exhibition of Ruud van Empel opens at Stux Gallery in New York. There his new series titled Dawn and Souvenir can be seen for the first time. Also some new works from his former series World, Moon and Venus will be in this exhibition. Stux Gallery, 530 West 25th street New York NY 10001
January 29 - February 29, 2009

Read more about this at: http://www.stuxgallery.com/

source

*Update:

I attended the opening of the exhibition with two friends. Beforehand, I scoured the internet looking for information on the artist, as there was no clear explanation of the different installments, and what they represent, the artist's intentions, etc. I was initially intrigued, when I learned van Empel was from the Netherlands, with black representation in his pieces, I wanted to find out a little more about the message he was trying to portray.

Very reminiscent of the 'noble savage', with dark complected children, in their Sunday's best (the medium was collaged digital photography so it is questionable whether the subjects were actually wearing the attire in the finished product), with wide eyes staring at the viewer, against a background of water lilies and greenery. The few images with white subjects lacked the rigidness of their black counterparts. Towards the back of the gallery, in an elevated section, there was an installment that had more to do with the artist borrowing imagery and memories from his childhood and placing them in the same images. That is to say a toothbrush and a kettle are not necessarily situated in the same room, but for these ephemeral purposes, they were found along the same counter as other familial bric a bra, yet nothing seemed out of place. What made this section different was the fact that there were small bits of prose/poetry/anecdotes found as the placards or exhibition labels.

After giving permission to be filmed speaking amongst ourselves about the works we were viewing, and hearing an older black lesbian, arguing loudly, with her white male counterpart about some one's family heritage and some one's mother being black, while asking not to be insulted, we, my friends and I, thought it was time to get to the bottom of the artist's background and intentions.

We asked the person that asked our permission to film if he knew anything about the artist and the exhibition, it turns out the artist was his brother and he would introduce us to ask him ourselves. Very simply, in trying to portray innocence, he used a white girl with blond hair, blue eyes, and a blue and white dress, to which he was told that he was subscribing to a very Aryan aesthetic. So, he decided to use black children, because they are not normally seen in that light and it was different. When asked about the stiffness of their postures as well as their unyielding attire, he responded that that was the way he dressed for a photograph in his childhood. All of a sudden we were able to enjoy the exhibition. This also led to a discussion, amongst ourselves, about the difference between race in America versus abroad, and his simple resolution to utilize black children to show innocence, because his prior attempt was problematic. As Americans, we must think about the multiplicities of identity, perception, reception, and overwhelming sensitivity, when van Empel, was just trying to make sure people would by his art.

See it if you can.