Phi Nu Theta?

I get a text from a friend this morning saying there is a play entitled 'The Eclectic Society'. Based on the one and only Eclectic Society of Wesleyan University before it had to integrate, pre Kennedy assassination. At the time Eclectic was a male-only, intellectual society, of wealthy white men. The tradition and history is deeper and richer than that I have shared but needless to say it has evolved into something broader and richer, relatively speaking, as well as notorious. I am very interested as to the subtext of a play about a society that still exists but is not even an apparition of what it once was. Those that write the history make decisions of and for immortality.

Link to the theater in Philly, where it premiered.


A synopsis...

The Eclectic Society will make its world premiere at the Walnut Street Theatre, located at 825 Walnut St., in Philadelphia at 8 p.m. Jan. 27 and run through March 7. Performances are Tuesday through Saturday at 8 p.m. and Sunday evenings at 7 p.m., with matinees on Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays at 2 p.m. Tickets range from $10 to $60, with premium tickets available for $115. For tickets, visit www.walnutstreettheatre.org or call (215) 574-3550

Sometimes....

Macro vs. Micro. What is really important and what is not and when is it important to classify such abstract notions? Never a simple question but the answer does not have to be complicated. As I try to navigate and reassure and try to rely on my movements and my synergy with my innate energies, I wonder if I am listening to the right self.

The Haunting

I was recently listening to "Shadows" by Gordon Voidwell. 

I have been thinking about abrupt shift in the continental plates of comfort that take place no matter how much of a control freak I can be. What is my problem? How am I setting myself back? What skeletons are rattling so close to the closet door that I can't move without disturbing them? What is the comfort in sabotage and failure? And why do I want to know the future so fucking badly? Why don't I trust my intution?

Who do I love and how do I do so? Am I even capable? I am starting to realize that, not only do I not know, I am completely unsure. As sure as the imminent next step. I walk in stride and trust that the ground will be beneath me. 

Nuggets

Unravelled patterns

Leave me naked

I narrowly escape

Innocence

The lessons are hard to find

I just wanted 

To be 

Right

Broken Feelings

The rope I have been holding 

is Threadbare.

Masochism

I believe in torture and torment concerning bouts of true love with otherwise rational entities. Perhaps, I have read too much Ayn Rand, or have been touched by fantastically sordid love stories. There is no real happy ending, or there was so so much to get there, it is much deserved. In any case- everything lacks simplicity (almost- enough for it to be kind of true, to me) so it becomes about tolerance and composure. With that, and simplified thinking, I think I might be alright. Mistakes don't wait, so I do. I know myself, so I know my personal expectations and capacities,  I tread lightly about my erratic emotional insecurities because, ultimately, I know what the truth is. 

Masochism, romanticism... I know that its hard but, I am sure that it's worth it. 

One way or another. 

The Most Amazing Thing EVER!!!!!!!!

Check it out...
I am so serious; I am so sincere.

http://moblackart.org/exhibitions/

Not only should you click on the link preceding this paragraph, but if you are in anyway able to make it to the Brooklyn Artist Gym, 168 7th street between third and second avenue, in BROOKLYN, you need to. You can take the M, R, to 9th avenue and 4th street; you can also take the F to 4th avenue and 9th street. We are having a free opening reception on Saturday, December 5, from noon until 5pm. Take a look at our featured artists. I know you're impressed.

Be wise. Come see us.

sjeffers@moblackart.org

Conservation of Energy

I believe in going green but that is not the energy of which I am referencing. As I am maturing and adjusting to the bullshit tactics and growing pains that come with my inheritance of life, I find that I can handle things easier when I am able to prioritize my energy. If there is work to be done, it does not matter who assigns it, or how fucked up everything else is. If I can produce what I need to do according to my standards as they comply with the general practices of the rational and sane, I will continue to succeed.

War:

In a moment of reflection I am trying to figure out what is the lesson/mantra I need to know in order to get through the day to day. I would consider myself a 'grander scheme of things' kind of person, so I try to keep things in that perspective. The forefront oft gets blurry as I move through life in a semi consciousness. Unfortunately I no longer have that luxury and must find gratification that occurs sooner, as my tenacity is hardening around the edges. I am not scared of becoming bitter because I keep busy in my many interests, but, I would like to think that my journey would only be difficult through rational obstacles. And, thinking about it, its not the brightest idea I've had or conclusion I've drawn. So, I am starting over and restructuring my thoughts and coping mechanisms. I think I got this.

...yeah

*cue Young Jeezy "I Got This"

Energies

Recently, I was thinking about the word please.

The verb and the request...for mercy...for a favour

When used infrequently it becomes foreign 

and its function 

and meaning becomes a question

Did I remember it the right way?

Please stop-

Please don't stop

Please love me the way I love you

Please let me be right 

Please don't make me say it

...I am pleased.

BLACK DYNAMITE!

I saw Black Dynamite at a preview screening this past Thursday. It was an interesting circumstance because I did not really know what to expect from the movie and I had spent the last half an hour dedicated to shots of Jack to be "nice" while I viewed it. I will say that it was not that necessary to do so. The shit was funny.

So, my friend and I, are walking swiftly down the block after he uses the bathroom at a bar where their shots of Jack are sixteen dollars each... I was none too pleased. Get to the movie theater and I am standing next to Cipha Sounds, and I am like, this is incredible. I say Cipha, I am lifetime Hot 97 listener and I just want to say congratulations on your success and progression. I waited 5 seconds, I listen to your show in the morning, you are so funny. He is thanking me, genuinely while moving aside, as I am speaking while the director is addressing the audience, talking about the reason he decided to do this project. Needless, to say all I got was an impression of his "blaxploitation voice" and to see Michael Jai White, in person. He is very handsome. But Cipha shook my hand so the movie was the icing.

Delighted and slightly inebriated, the film begins, and I was exposed to pure entertainment. All I can really say is; at several points of the movie I was heard saying either, no, I can't, or I am ready for the credits to roll. And when I say that, it means that I am so overwhelmed by the magnitude of greatness that I almost can not bear it. Was that vague enough?

The success of this movie is that the actors are really good. The satire was done in such a way that it playfully makes fun of the Blaxploitation genre while admitting that it was entertainment that could be enjoyed. The project is well executed and as I sit and try to think of excerpts all I can do is laugh hysterically and insist that you go see it.

Click the link for screenings

http://www.blackdynamitemovie.com/

PS. On my way out, Cipha was handing out flyers, my friend asked where Rosenberg was, we heard someone say, right here.

Enough About You

I have been doing a lot of looking at society and interpreting people through my eyes and perspective. Which is not a problem because what I do believe is true- most everyone is off-kilter in one way or another, it is just about how you can filter and adjust. Unfortunately, life's ills make it difficult for most do so.  I suffer because I am trying too hard to understand why I am not getting the responses that make the most sense to me. And, I would like to consider myself a rolling ball of sanity, (c) Chidi Asoluka; my logic and motivations are of my own creation and constitute my personal integrity. 

Unwavering, I have to have enough confidence in my personal construction to not be concerned with that which I can not coalesce. It makes it easer when the bullshit filters itself. 

I could not have it any other way. 

Hide out to Ride out

This past Saturday, my brother, biblicallynice.blogspot.com, and I decided to go out for a wine open bar as the after party for his friend's roommate's showing of her new collection. (I went to their show at Pink Elephant for Fashion Week in February,  http://toolbox1130.blogspot.com/2009/02/untitled.html, their link to their lookbook, and subsequently their website, is http://untitled1111.com/Untitled_11_11_fall_09_lookbook.html)

After verifying the address and hopstopping, we, my brother and I get ready to hit Chinatown. All, I have to say is thank goodness for the neighborhood maps and cardinal directions. When we arrive at Doyers Street, a small street with a crook leading you from Bowery to another alley way looking street, it looked like we took a wrong turn somewhere. My brother said he always thinks he will get ninja-starred to death in Chinatown. If it were to be anywhere, this street was the place. I just got a flashback to one of my favourite movies, Death to Smoochy, where Spinner gets killed and dumped in a street that resembled this one. 

Tangential? I know. Sorry? No. 

Anyway... the address of the venue, Apotheke, has us standing in front of a well maintained yet closed Chinese restaurant. The doors, solid wood, were uncharacteristic of a restaurant of that nature but still did not betray what was lying behind them. After looking around an empty street, we venture inside. A subdued setting with red lighting, hinting at a den of sin or secrecy, with four men in labcoats standing behind a bar. My brother and I were the only black people in there and I decided to wear black jeans, a white tee and construction timbs. But, it wasn't that awkward. An amazing ambience and a menu of drinks that will liken themselves to a bucket list. I do urge you to give it a try.

Here is a link to ther drink menu... http://www.apothekebar.com/index2abar.html

Look into it. 

What ever happened to straight up answers?

I think I missed when ambiguity and interpretations are how people communicate. Is it more comforting to walk away from a situtation, after consciously seeking clarity, still not knowing what the fuck the resolution was?

I ALSO missed when, if I say no that means you are going to agree and then act like I parenthetically said yes, and vice versa. 

Most importantly, I wonder how people feign for real interactions when their whole life is a hidden agenda. 

Just some things that have been making my life difficult. If you can not relate to this then... it is of you I speak.

I ain't worried 'bout y'all cuz I'm already me!

"If you want my advice...you've made a mistake already. By asking me. By asking anyone. Never ask people. Not about your work. Don't you know what you want? How can you stand it, not to know?"

Not to be preachy, because I do not specialize in telling other people what to do, I tell them where to go, but I think this is an important tidbit to share. 

No man is an island, and all that (I picked that up from my horticulturalist), but there are certain things that do not need consultation. In this individualist/ capitalist culture it is very off-putting that others peoples feelings should be considered in order for one to feel validated in their place in this life. It is a threat to actually not give a fuck about other people's feelings, in regards to your natural progression. Especially when you were blessed with conviction and knowledge. I am saying all of this in the scope of rationale and logic, of course. 

Being the space cadet/ overthinking enthusiast I am, I constantly zoom out to the vast mystery of the Universe and realize that in the grander scheme of things, my drive and happiness is the onliest thing thats going to make the uncertainty of my miniscule existence worth it. It gets hectic down here, and it is easy to lose sight, steam and esteem. People are great sounding boards but even still, to question your decisions reveals you have no direction and are selfless. How can you not know your self?

I have been thinking....

Apparently for a really long time. 

With the hype that has been surrounding the long awaited sequel to Raekwon the Chef's, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... I have been confused as to what Hip Hop purists have been complaining about. 

Last night I was conversing with my brother, biblicallynice.blogspot.com, about what it is that is making everyone say that this was/is a 'good look' for hip hop. Do not misunderstand what I am saying, the album is a solid effort and without sounding retro, it brought me back to a place I forgot. The hard, gritty sounds of people that are hungry and dedicated, who lead real lives before/ throughout their entry to the 'game' and have things to discuss. Delicately balancing the ill's of their behaviours, environs, and circumstances with the fact that they still must do what they have to do to survive. That being... selling crack. I mean the nigga's name is the Chef. Is it this ephemeral past we are holding on to, that has us thinking that, as long as the artist is not lying about the amount of money they have and their level in the drug dealing hierarchy, or the fact that they were actually middle-class but, in order to sell they must fabricate the realities of the impoverished that rhyming about selling crack and the projects is a step in the right direction for us?

Pyrex visions, birds flying south, bricks, kilos, cubans, columbians, crackheads... It's all the same. 

Yea, I still own that shit, though; don't get it twisted. 

Decoy: My Life on the DL

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you, without a decent post to skim through...

So, these are some of things that happen when you waste your mental energy attracting bullshit activities and bastard tactics in lieu of attracting your happiness...

A very dear friend and I attended a networking/ happy hour, as alcohol is the tried and true social lubricant, and amidst the sitting in the corner talking to each other, she was introduced, by a host, to the man that gave me what I have been looking for.

They had already begun their conversation when I joined them. I had been politely chatting it up with an old acquaintance. Either way, I enter at the part where he was stating that most of the people at the event were young, had only been out of undergrad for a couple of years. Usually, when people reach a certain age they do not ask about one's profession. He was also telling us that he had not realized it, until he had gotten older, that sisters need to bag brothers while they are still in college that is the only place where you will have a concentration of black men that are about their business. As the women that concentrated  on their careers get older, its slim pickings and they end up bitter, since they decided to put it off. 

We are like...ok

Meanwhile, he is complaining about the party, waiting to leave so that he can go elsewhere. When it is time for my friend and I to leave, he tells us to write our names down so that he may 'facebook' us later. The next morning I see I have a friend request, I accept, and a little while letter I receive a message in my inbox. The correspondence lreads as follows: 

him:  so hows married life lol?you didnt mention that last night whenI was discussing bagging a brother when young lol

me: no, i am not married, lol. in any way. it was something my friend and I did a while ago and she won't let me take it down.

him: ok send me your cell number if you like ....ciao

I sent my number, out of curiousity, since no man has ever "asked" for my number and ended with a ciao. At least not one that feigned interest in me.  Anyway, after a text test run, you know when people send you a text so you can have their number and upon your response to having received it they take that as a green light to communicate, I receive a text over the weekend asking me if I was free. Wzup. Do you have a car? And are you free today like 2:30?....

really?

Essentially,  he wanted to take me to the homo thug convention that was Joe and Chico DeBarge performing at Summerstage. He did not want to drive but he guessed he would since I did not have a vehicle. I opted out since I had to do something, like my nails. Later, he asks me if I wanted to see Anita Baker the next day. I said yes. After a delay in my train situation, he picks me up from the train station slightly annoyed. In the car he points out the place I need to watch my step when exiting because people tend to miss it and the dirt is hard to get out. You know people, when they come to your house or get in your car don't respect your shit. I took note, just in case I needed to ever get back into his car again. Circling, looking for parking, he is so annoyed we can not even have a conversation, I suppose he was concentrating on not having the bitch fit we both knew he was capable of. We finally find a parking spot and he is complaining about the circumambulation the barricades require. I am already at wow. We reach the barricades and have to walk single file... he walks in front of me and does not check for me until we make it all the way into the park. Now that I think about it, there were men doing their jail workout in the playground area of the park...so, yeah.

Either way, we found a spot to sit down, after moving three times, and he is annoyed because he can't see the stage. After a couple of minutes he gestures to these women in front of us and says  I think they're, ya know. Lesbians? I asked, he said yes. He then asked me about my experiences and I shared what was pertinent,  then I asked about him. He flipped. Outraged, he shifts his body language so that he has cut me off, and asks me if he looked like a person that experimented. I said no, because it was opposites day, for that moment. He then, after cooling down a bit, says a man is usually not going to tell you right away if he has experimented. He'd probably wait a year or so to tell you something like that. 

Again, really?

Time passes, every ten minutes or so, he stands up and looks around for a good three minutes, my guess is to cruise. He sits back down to say that it may sound conceited but the woman that ends up with him forever is lucky. I asked why. She has more to benefit from the situation than I do. Women need stability and I have that. I envy her, actually. Not to mention he said he was loyal, thats all he could reveal at the moment, I would see what he was talking about. Like I really want to participate in the anal wart fuckery of a down low man. Not to mention, I have not heard a man, that was interested in women, say and rationalize his masculinity the way he had. Saying he is not really emotional, would never back down from a fight, that as a man he does not need love, and women need that. And women need to be with one man but because he was a man he could be with 50,000 women. And the only time he touched me, at all, was to show me where to watch my step in his car. 

I had to leave early and I did. 

That's what I get for asking for stupid shit. 

Get Your Mouth Away from My DICK

* no comment

I have been thinking//formulating

As of late, I have been exposed to relationships that exist and function outside the realms of the average. This is not a description of dysfunction as much as it is a nod to the observation that relationships, of any type, are tailor-made and should be a personal fit to the individuals that are compatible enough to work as a unit.

With that being said, I have been drawing conclusions about dating, courtship and commitment. In the never ending occupation of examining my life and decisions in a timely manner, these are what I know to suit where I am now. According to my close friend, last night, the idea I am about to propose is something that does not normally exist and is of a futuristic, sophisticated nature. I do not agree. However, I think the only time sexual relationships are honest is when they are of an illicit nature, involving cheating. Because the preoccupation of at least one of the parties in a committed relationship, these circumstances facilitate open and clear discourse about the nature and progression, or lack thereof. I think this honesty should exist in relationships that are not illicit. I do think it is of interest to have a close, sexual relationship, meaning one in which the state of each's emotions and expectations are laid out in the beginning and revisited as necessary. This does not necessarily mean, full disclosure, in fact it does not mean that or becoming best friends. It only allows for each person to maintain the individual goals in the other aspects of their respective lives while sharing their bed and some of their time with a partner. In any case, I think this would prevent a lot of feelings from getting hurt due to the initial standards and conduct, allowing for the progression of intimacy or clean dissolution. Doing or not doing something to not hurt the other party does nothing but create a stifling discomfort and suffering on both parts. Keep it real with yourself and you can keep it real with your sexual partner/ girlfriend/ boyfriend/ best friend/ whatever.

Due to the external pressure and standards, of being single, married, and child-bearing and feeling a certain way if you see that you are not reaching the deadline you set at 16 or even 21, I think a lot of people fall into a trap of insecurity which uses the association of a relationship as a indicator of well-rounded success. Too many unnecessary compromises are made, comfort is sacrificed and we are swept up in a tidal of frantic decision making. I am a big fan of moving slowly, if both parties are working on their adulthood and have a mutual respect for each other to communicate about placement and priorities.

I know this is possible. It is a clean and rational way to deal with the interpersonal intimacy of physical relationships, with people that you are not just trying to fuck, of course. That is a different story altogether. And above all else, do not settle for just fucking someone you have feelings for just to maintain intimacy.

This requires that all personal motives and feelings be fully addressed and resolved before involving another person in your fuckery.

Eat up.

ABUNDANCE

I recently went to visit my brother on the West Coast. He told me about the second album by PPP (formerly Platinum Pied Pipers, titled, Abundance.

To make a long story short, PPP comprises of two producers, and the featured albums has their tracks, cohesively, and and ensemble set of singers to be found throughout the album. Coultrain, Karma Stewart, and Jamila Reagan, with one song with Neco Redd on vocals. A dance party that encompasses American black music, so not just one of the default genres, but a natural progression of music, using basic structural ideas appropriated to create a fresh sound without seemingly trying. I would also like to note that the lyrical content, as it is hard to hear and understand every word, due to the layered vocal arrangements, is of an intelligent quality. The ideas of love and relationships, the good and bad, and personal motivation, are present throughout the album but new language adds a much needed dimension to the rigmarole.

I enjoy it.

"Triple P, the debut from the then-Platinum Pied Pipers (now just PPP), was a deserved recipient of glowing reviews and dropped jaws throughout independent music media. Refining if not revolutionizing modern soul, Triple P announced a new player in 2005. In 2009 the player is established and Abundance announces a new game.

There is something inherently carefree about this album. It’s unfortunate to realise, but what sets Abundance apart from so many modern releases is that it is obviously the result of a deep musical passion and a delight in musical experimentation. Wajeed and Saadiq stick to the decidedly Detroit formula of big drums and dirty synths, but manage to give the motor city’s model a new chassis to handle the now even stronger bumps. Alongside the rejuvenated production is PPP’s refined vocal lineup: Previously a mash up of all Detroit had to offer, the vocal responsibilities now lie with the smoky tones of Coultrain, the soul of Karma Stewart and the sugar of Jamila Raegan. With the smaller cast, Abundance is as cohesive as any producer-based album could hope to be.

Abundance breaks the boundaries of R&B and is far too much fun to be labeled neo-soul. Sitting happily in it’s own genre, Abundance is an album many will be compared to in years to come."

source

Cliche Anyone?

Happy Holiday for all of us that need things to celebrate, no matter how minute. DO not get me wrong I am on of those people. If you are a chronic (pun intended) participant, like myself, I am sure you do not a need a date to get closer to Jah.

Here is that pep to get you through the work day...










Brown Sugar - DAngelo

just a few of the many...