I have been thinking//formulating

As of late, I have been exposed to relationships that exist and function outside the realms of the average. This is not a description of dysfunction as much as it is a nod to the observation that relationships, of any type, are tailor-made and should be a personal fit to the individuals that are compatible enough to work as a unit.

With that being said, I have been drawing conclusions about dating, courtship and commitment. In the never ending occupation of examining my life and decisions in a timely manner, these are what I know to suit where I am now. According to my close friend, last night, the idea I am about to propose is something that does not normally exist and is of a futuristic, sophisticated nature. I do not agree. However, I think the only time sexual relationships are honest is when they are of an illicit nature, involving cheating. Because the preoccupation of at least one of the parties in a committed relationship, these circumstances facilitate open and clear discourse about the nature and progression, or lack thereof. I think this honesty should exist in relationships that are not illicit. I do think it is of interest to have a close, sexual relationship, meaning one in which the state of each's emotions and expectations are laid out in the beginning and revisited as necessary. This does not necessarily mean, full disclosure, in fact it does not mean that or becoming best friends. It only allows for each person to maintain the individual goals in the other aspects of their respective lives while sharing their bed and some of their time with a partner. In any case, I think this would prevent a lot of feelings from getting hurt due to the initial standards and conduct, allowing for the progression of intimacy or clean dissolution. Doing or not doing something to not hurt the other party does nothing but create a stifling discomfort and suffering on both parts. Keep it real with yourself and you can keep it real with your sexual partner/ girlfriend/ boyfriend/ best friend/ whatever.

Due to the external pressure and standards, of being single, married, and child-bearing and feeling a certain way if you see that you are not reaching the deadline you set at 16 or even 21, I think a lot of people fall into a trap of insecurity which uses the association of a relationship as a indicator of well-rounded success. Too many unnecessary compromises are made, comfort is sacrificed and we are swept up in a tidal of frantic decision making. I am a big fan of moving slowly, if both parties are working on their adulthood and have a mutual respect for each other to communicate about placement and priorities.

I know this is possible. It is a clean and rational way to deal with the interpersonal intimacy of physical relationships, with people that you are not just trying to fuck, of course. That is a different story altogether. And above all else, do not settle for just fucking someone you have feelings for just to maintain intimacy.

This requires that all personal motives and feelings be fully addressed and resolved before involving another person in your fuckery.

Eat up.