Enough About You

I have been doing a lot of looking at society and interpreting people through my eyes and perspective. Which is not a problem because what I do believe is true- most everyone is off-kilter in one way or another, it is just about how you can filter and adjust. Unfortunately, life's ills make it difficult for most do so.  I suffer because I am trying too hard to understand why I am not getting the responses that make the most sense to me. And, I would like to consider myself a rolling ball of sanity, (c) Chidi Asoluka; my logic and motivations are of my own creation and constitute my personal integrity. 

Unwavering, I have to have enough confidence in my personal construction to not be concerned with that which I can not coalesce. It makes it easer when the bullshit filters itself. 

I could not have it any other way. 

Hide out to Ride out

This past Saturday, my brother, biblicallynice.blogspot.com, and I decided to go out for a wine open bar as the after party for his friend's roommate's showing of her new collection. (I went to their show at Pink Elephant for Fashion Week in February,  http://toolbox1130.blogspot.com/2009/02/untitled.html, their link to their lookbook, and subsequently their website, is http://untitled1111.com/Untitled_11_11_fall_09_lookbook.html)

After verifying the address and hopstopping, we, my brother and I get ready to hit Chinatown. All, I have to say is thank goodness for the neighborhood maps and cardinal directions. When we arrive at Doyers Street, a small street with a crook leading you from Bowery to another alley way looking street, it looked like we took a wrong turn somewhere. My brother said he always thinks he will get ninja-starred to death in Chinatown. If it were to be anywhere, this street was the place. I just got a flashback to one of my favourite movies, Death to Smoochy, where Spinner gets killed and dumped in a street that resembled this one. 

Tangential? I know. Sorry? No. 

Anyway... the address of the venue, Apotheke, has us standing in front of a well maintained yet closed Chinese restaurant. The doors, solid wood, were uncharacteristic of a restaurant of that nature but still did not betray what was lying behind them. After looking around an empty street, we venture inside. A subdued setting with red lighting, hinting at a den of sin or secrecy, with four men in labcoats standing behind a bar. My brother and I were the only black people in there and I decided to wear black jeans, a white tee and construction timbs. But, it wasn't that awkward. An amazing ambience and a menu of drinks that will liken themselves to a bucket list. I do urge you to give it a try.

Here is a link to ther drink menu... http://www.apothekebar.com/index2abar.html

Look into it. 

Imaginary Relationships

... what exists in the negative space.

negative space: n, empty space, space surrounding an object or form.

It is what provides context and dimension for the positive image or form. I will be using it in reference to relationships, and that which is not mentioned but becomes implicit, and how that lack of communication becomes problematic.

It is all imaginary until spoken about. 

Needless to say, I have millions of examples of people taking a mile from the precisely measured inch I have given.

And I just want to know why, when people have plans for me, they do not share them. It would make my existence less confusing. The issue is, at least in my personal hetero experience, I meet men, we express a genuine interest and then I am supposed to forget that there at least 3 billion more out here. I do not do stage directions, I do directives. I seek to observe, analyze, understand and communicate, that's how relationships work. Not this, oh well  I am just going to skip these steps and act like we have an understanding that they have a certain precedent, when none of it was spoken about at all. And I am not taking one circumstance and making it general to hype myself up. Trust. 

I usually opt with the gradient of difficult to dumb and see how much I can get away with. 

Until, I just have to put my foot down. I get feigned surprise and a lot of "Nah, its not like that". Because its usually men acting like its not about sex instead of being upfront. But, saying the word-sex/fuck/smash/beat-preceded by "if you're just trying to" and succeeded by "just say that" is like shedding a light when everyone wants to act like they are not doing/seeking what they actually are doing/seeking. Its stupid and causes headache. Keep it 100, you'd be better off when trying to find a proper match. Everyone is out here sending their representatives confusing people that have no time to waste on superficial representation of reality. Fuck off. 

And that, my friends, is where imaginary relationships come from.

Really.

R.I.P. PATRICK SWAYZE

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Patrick Swayze, whose good looks and sympathetic performances in films such as "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost" made him a romantic idol to millions, died Monday. He was 57.

Swayze died of pancreatic cancer, his publicist, Annett Wolf, told CNN.

Swayze's doctor, Dr. George Fisher, revealed in early March 2008 that Swayze was suffering from the disease.

"Patrick Swayze passed away peacefully today with family at his side after facing the challenges of his illness for the last 20 months," Wolf said in a statement Monday.

Most recently, Swayze starred in A&E Network's "The Beast," which debuted in January. He agreed to take the starring role of an undercover FBI agent before his diagnosis.

The network agreed to shoot an entire season of the show after Swayze responded well to his cancer treatment. iReport.com: Send us your memories of Swayze

In an interview with ABC's Barbara Walters in January, Swayze said his work on that show was exhausting, requiring 12-hour workdays in Chicago, Illinois, doing his own stunts. But he said the show's character "just felt right for my soul."

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"If I leave this Earth, I want to leave this Earth just knowing I've tried to give something back and tried to do something worthwhile with myself," Swayze told Walters, when asked why he decided to do the show. "And that keeps me going, that gets me up in the morning. My work ... is my legacy."

Swayze was mostly known for a handful of supporting roles when he broke through with his performance as dance instructor Johnny Castle in 1987's "Dirty Dancing." Watch a look back on Swayze's career »

Three years later, he became an even bigger star with "Ghost," in which he played an investment banker who dies and learns to tap into his unspoken feelings for his partner (Demi Moore). The film won Whoopi Goldberg an Oscar and helped make him People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" in 1991.

"Patrick was a really good man, a funny man and one to whom I owe much that I can't ever repay," Goldberg said in a statement. "I believe in 'Ghost's' message, so he'll always be near."

Swayze told Entertainment Weekly in 1990 that "the movies that have had the most powerful effects on my life have been about romantic characters."

He expanded on the effort he put into love scenes for People in 1991.

"It's possibly the scariest thing I do," he said, "doing something so personal and giving people out there the opportunity to see if you're a good kisser or not."

Patrick Wayne Swayze was born on August 18, 1952, in Houston, Texas. His father was an engineering draftsman; his mother was a ballet dancer and later the director of the Houston Ballet Dance Company.

She led her son into the dancing world, which wasn't always easy for a Texas male. Indeed, the young Swayze played football, practiced martial arts and was an accomplished diver and track star while growing up, though he was good enough at dance to earn a college scholarship.

After an early professional job playing Prince Charming in an early '70s version of "Disney on Ice," Swayze returned to Houston, where he met Lisa Niemi, a student of his mother's. The two were married in 1975 and moved to New York to pursue their careers. See timeline of Swayze's life »

Swayze seemed set on a dance career: He studied with the prestigious Joffrey Ballet and joined another company, the Eliot Feld Ballet Company. But surgery for an old football injury ended his ballet career and he turned to acting, nabbing the lead role of Danny Zuko in the long-running Broadway production of "Grease" in 1978, around the time the movie starring John Travolta was hitting theaters. "Grease" earned him some Hollywood attention, and he and Niemi moved West.

After a couple of bit parts, including one in a 1981 episode of "M*A*S*H," Swayze picked up the role of Darrel Curtis in Francis Ford Coppola's 1983 film of "The Outsiders," which also included future stars Matt Dillon, Rob Lowe, Ralph Macchio, Emilio Estevez and Tom Cruise. Swayze was also one of the leads in 1984's "Red Dawn," about teenagers defending their town from a Soviet attack on America.

But it was with "Dirty Dancing" that Swayze hit it big. The film about a girl's coming of age at a Catskills resort in the early '60s was intended for a limited release but became one of the decade's biggest sleeper hits and made Swayze and co-star Jennifer Grey household names.

The film gave birth to a catchphrase -- "Nobody puts Baby in a corner," spoken by Swayze's character to Grey's domineering father (Jerry Orbach) -- and eventually led to a follow-up, 2004's "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights." Swayze even sang a Top 10 hit, "She's Like the Wind," on the film's soundtrack.

Swayze, known as a down-to-earth, nice-guy actor, was determined not to follow a predictable career path.

He followed "Dirty Dancing" with "Road House" (1989) in which he played a manager at a rough-and-tumble bar (the film was particularly popular on late-night cable). He succeeded "Ghost" with "Point Break" (1991), about a group of thieves; "City of Joy" (1992), in which he played a doctor in a poverty-stricken Indian village; and "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" (1995), in which he starred as a drag queen.

''I don't want to be Mr. Romantic Leading Man. I don't want to be the Dance Dude. I don't want to be the Action Guy. If I had to do any one of those all my life, it'd drive me crazy,'' he told Entertainment Weekly in the 1990 interview.

Swayze's career diminished in the late '90s. He broke both legs in 1997 while making a film, "Letters From a Killer," and went into rehab to overcome an admitted drinking problem. In 2000, he was flying in his own twin-engine plane when the plane depressurized; Swayze landed in a housing development in Arizona. Though some witnesses say he appeared intoxicated, he was later revealed to have been suffering from hypoxia, related to the depressurization and his three-pack-a-day cigarette habit.

Swayze re-established his knack for picking sleepers with "Donnie Darko" (2001), the dark film about a troubled student that became a sensation on video. Swayze played a creepy motivational speaker and won raves for his performance.

Swayze's more recent films included a TV version of "King Solomon's Mines" and 2007's "Christmas in Wonderland."

Though he still had the power to make women's hearts flutter -- 22-year-old Scarlett Johansson, upon receiving Harvard's Hasty Pudding Award in February 2007, said her dream date was "probably Patrick Swayze, my dream come true" -- Swayze wasn't too impressed with himself.


"Good-looking people turn me off," he once said. "Myself included."

Swayze is survived by his wife, Lisa, of over 30 years and his mother, Patsy.

2009 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

I WAS GONNA WRITE A LONG BLOG ABOUT THE VMA'S LAST NITE....BUT THANKS TO TWITTER....I KNOW WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE ABOUT THE SHOW, PERFORMANCES, KANYE, AND THAT LIL MAMA? INSTEAD I'M JUST GONNA SAY....


LADY GAGA, THE PRINCESS/"PRINCE" OF AVANTE GARDE, THE MAITRE'D OF NEO GLAM/POP, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN INDIVIDUAL AND SHOWING UP TO SHOW OUT LAST NITE!!! JOB WELL DONE!!!


PINK, YOU'VE OUTDONE YOURSELF ONCE AGAIN, JUST WHEN WE THINK WE KNOW YOU, YOU RAISE THE BAR WITH YOUR DARING CREATIVITY AND EDGY PERFORMANCES. YOU'VE SHOWN US ONCE AGAIN WHY YOU ARE SETTING THE STANDARD!!



TAYLOR SWIFT, YOU GOT SPUNK KID!! MAYBE NEXT YEAR WHEN YOU'RE 18, YOU CAN PUT UP YOUR MIDDLE FINGER AND SAY " KANYE, SHUT THE FUCK UP" LIKE THE REST OF US!! KEEP IT MOVING NONETHELESS!!


KANYE WEST, PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND CHECK IN YOUR BULLSHIT, CATCH THE NEAREST FLIGHT OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE, AND PREPARE FOR A CLEAR LANDING. LAST NITE, WAS TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL AND HIGHLY INCONSIDERATE!! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? PLEASE DONT LEAVE THAT DECISION UP TO THE MASSES, YOU THINK YOU'RE UNINHIBITED, THESE LIONS ARE OLDER THAN YOU. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND PURCHASE DESIGNER ICESKATES KIDDO, YOUR WALKING ON THIN ICE!!


JAY-Z/ALICIA KEYS, WONDERFUL COLLABO!! TWO HEAVY WEIGHTS ON ONE STAGE!! NO CAPTION NEEDED, BUT PLEASE PICK UP YOUR JAW!!


LIL MAMA? THANKS TO YOU (AND KANYE), SECURITY WILL BE DOUBLED NEXT YEAR AT THE VMA'S. I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS THE EMBARRASEMENT I FELT FOR YOU LAST NITE. ARE YOU CRAZY? JAY-Z AND ALICIA KEYS? IF THERE WAS EVER ANY HOPE FOR YOUR MUSICAL CAREER, YOU PROLLY JUST SLAYED YOURSELF FEROCIOUSLY WITH THAT MOVE. HAVEN'T YOU EVER PLAYED CHESS (YES YOU ARE THE PAWN, IF YOU WERE UNSURE). YOU ARE NOT EVEN A DISCUSSION WHEN IT COMES TO MUSIC, OR POP CULTURE, UNLESS WE ARE DISCUSSING DIFFERENT WAYS OF HOW TO GET YOU OFF OF ABDC!! WHAT WERE YOU WEARING? I CANT BELIEVE YOU LEFT YOUR HOUSE LOOKING LIKE A "RAINBOW" MODEL. (NOTE: RAINBOW IS THE HIGH END $10 DOLLAR CLOTHING STORE, CHECK YOUR LOCAL HOOD)....I'M JUST DONE WITH YOU FOR THIS YEAR....AND IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD FOR SPRING EITHER!!

OTHER IMAGES OF HER LOOKING LIKE A DAMN FOOL!!!




MADONNA, THANK U FOR SUCH A GENUINE SPEECH AND A HUMBLED HEART. YOUR WORDS WERE VERY HEART FELT AND SINCERE. YOU'VE SHOWN US ONCE AGAIN THAT THERE IS HUMANITY WITHIN THE CELEBRITY AND IF THE LEGENDS CAN EXEMPLIFY SUCH CHARACTER, KANYE SOOO CAN YOU!!


JANET...I'M SPEECHLESS, I CANT BEGIN TO MANIFEST THE WORDS BECAUSE MY HEART IS FULL. I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU AND THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF THE ELITE VOICES TO THE SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN YOU. YOU'VE ALLOWED MANY GREAT INTERLUDES FOR DANCE IN MY LIFE AND IM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.

ALBUM REVIEW: Whitney Houston " I look to you"

First let me begin by stating that WHITNEY HOUSTON, THE NAME, THE LEGEND, THE ICON, is still in fact regarded as a Benchmark, A creative/artistic standard for modern day singers/entertainers of all stripes,shapes, and colors. CAUTION: PLEASE DONT BE FOOLED BY ALL THE PRESS (GOOD AND BAD) WITHIN THE PAST 7 YEARS OF HER HIATUS!! SHE IS STILL AND WILL ALWAYS BE EVERYTHING STATED ABOVE IF NOT MORE.

It's been 7 years since Whitney Houston has released an album, and 2009's " I LOOK TO YOU"(ARISTA/RCA MUSIC GROUP) is the true definition of "Soul Food", please indulge!! From the Title Track, " I LOOK TO YOU" (Written by R. Kelly), to the uptempo, one of my favorite cuts on the album " MILLION DOLLAR BILL" (written by Alicia Keys,produced by Swizz Beats), Whitney has undeniably done it again. The album debuted at No 1. with sales exceeding 304,600. Not only is this Whitney Houston's highest debut sales week, it is her first No. 1 solo album since 1987's smash hit Whitney, which spawned several hits including "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." That album was also the first album to debut at No. 1 by a woman. 1992's The Bodyguard Soundtrack is Houston's biggest accomplishment with "I Will Always Love You" being one of the most successful singles in music's history, the album being No. 1 for 20 weeks (for those who are unaware, there are 52 weeks in a year!!..things that make you go hmmmm!!)


While Houston's voice may seem a bit deeper and raspier, her vocal delivery is still powerful, captivating, and engaging. There is a smooth, soothing quality whitney has always been able to deliver. The conviction and tone is still evident if not more today because Whitney is a soul singer, the motivation comes from the depths of the gut mixed with the human spirit and journey, and when the mouth opens there is a story being told.

Although, Im pleased with the project, If I could of had my own personal input in the production, I would of liked to see the collaboration of Houston with ( Lalah Hathaway, Kandi, Diddy, Mary J Blige, Fantasia, Joe, Tank, and Missy Elliot). Im excited for more live performances, interviews (hopefully that includes WENDY WILLIAMS), Editorial shoots, Endorsements, and All the good things I think Whitney deserves.

BELOW ARE SOME OF THE JOINTS THAT IM CURRENTLY BLASTING ON MY " SHOWER PLAYLIST" LOL....ENJOY AND SUPPORT " I LOOK TO YOU" - WHITNEY HOUSTON

What ever happened to straight up answers?

I think I missed when ambiguity and interpretations are how people communicate. Is it more comforting to walk away from a situtation, after consciously seeking clarity, still not knowing what the fuck the resolution was?

I ALSO missed when, if I say no that means you are going to agree and then act like I parenthetically said yes, and vice versa. 

Most importantly, I wonder how people feign for real interactions when their whole life is a hidden agenda. 

Just some things that have been making my life difficult. If you can not relate to this then... it is of you I speak.

I ain't worried 'bout y'all cuz I'm already me!

"If you want my advice...you've made a mistake already. By asking me. By asking anyone. Never ask people. Not about your work. Don't you know what you want? How can you stand it, not to know?"

Not to be preachy, because I do not specialize in telling other people what to do, I tell them where to go, but I think this is an important tidbit to share. 

No man is an island, and all that (I picked that up from my horticulturalist), but there are certain things that do not need consultation. In this individualist/ capitalist culture it is very off-putting that others peoples feelings should be considered in order for one to feel validated in their place in this life. It is a threat to actually not give a fuck about other people's feelings, in regards to your natural progression. Especially when you were blessed with conviction and knowledge. I am saying all of this in the scope of rationale and logic, of course. 

Being the space cadet/ overthinking enthusiast I am, I constantly zoom out to the vast mystery of the Universe and realize that in the grander scheme of things, my drive and happiness is the onliest thing thats going to make the uncertainty of my miniscule existence worth it. It gets hectic down here, and it is easy to lose sight, steam and esteem. People are great sounding boards but even still, to question your decisions reveals you have no direction and are selfless. How can you not know your self?

I have been thinking....

Apparently for a really long time. 

With the hype that has been surrounding the long awaited sequel to Raekwon the Chef's, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... I have been confused as to what Hip Hop purists have been complaining about. 

Last night I was conversing with my brother, biblicallynice.blogspot.com, about what it is that is making everyone say that this was/is a 'good look' for hip hop. Do not misunderstand what I am saying, the album is a solid effort and without sounding retro, it brought me back to a place I forgot. The hard, gritty sounds of people that are hungry and dedicated, who lead real lives before/ throughout their entry to the 'game' and have things to discuss. Delicately balancing the ill's of their behaviours, environs, and circumstances with the fact that they still must do what they have to do to survive. That being... selling crack. I mean the nigga's name is the Chef. Is it this ephemeral past we are holding on to, that has us thinking that, as long as the artist is not lying about the amount of money they have and their level in the drug dealing hierarchy, or the fact that they were actually middle-class but, in order to sell they must fabricate the realities of the impoverished that rhyming about selling crack and the projects is a step in the right direction for us?

Pyrex visions, birds flying south, bricks, kilos, cubans, columbians, crackheads... It's all the same. 

Yea, I still own that shit, though; don't get it twisted.