Sufferation

I know the unimportance of suffering, I know pain is to be fought and thrown aside, not to be accepted as a part of one's soul and as a permanent scar across one's view of existence. 

John Galt; Atlas Shrugged

Martydom is wack juice, anyway you look at it. Previously, I likened a gerundial plight and my position in it as such where I had nothing left but scars over my memories. Victimizing myself and invoking a sentiment where I would be forever haunted by these specific happenings and that would be my badge of valor. My suffering, my pain, at the hands of someone else. However, in my view of life, I have already internalized that pain is a part of it but is worth nothing in exchange for accomplishments and success. Unless, guilt and pity is one's goal. 

In any situation, I have realized sacrificing my capacity and mind's occupation for someone does not benefit me and prevents me from moving forward. This is not to say that I have recently purchased rose-tinted spectacles but, my life's purpose and happiness is not to be facilitated by that which I can not profit from. I do not mean profit, as in I have learned a valuable lesson. It means, as a trader, as a person that respects and delivers honest achievement, I receive no 'ends' in my suffering. It leaves me with a feeling and no product. 

Unacceptable.