Sometimes....

Macro vs. Micro. What is really important and what is not and when is it important to classify such abstract notions? Never a simple question but the answer does not have to be complicated. As I try to navigate and reassure and try to rely on my movements and my synergy with my innate energies, I wonder if I am listening to the right self.

The Haunting

I was recently listening to "Shadows" by Gordon Voidwell. 

I have been thinking about abrupt shift in the continental plates of comfort that take place no matter how much of a control freak I can be. What is my problem? How am I setting myself back? What skeletons are rattling so close to the closet door that I can't move without disturbing them? What is the comfort in sabotage and failure? And why do I want to know the future so fucking badly? Why don't I trust my intution?

Who do I love and how do I do so? Am I even capable? I am starting to realize that, not only do I not know, I am completely unsure. As sure as the imminent next step. I walk in stride and trust that the ground will be beneath me. 

Check my Homey Out

New show on HBO. Take a gander at the trailer.

Click Here

Nuggets

Unravelled patterns

Leave me naked

I narrowly escape

Innocence

The lessons are hard to find

I just wanted 

To be 

Right

Broken Feelings

The rope I have been holding 

is Threadbare.

I wish I never

stopped,

paused to speak,

given you the opportunity to say anything that would penetrate

decided that i loved it

Masochism

I believe in torture and torment concerning bouts of true love with otherwise rational entities. Perhaps, I have read too much Ayn Rand, or have been touched by fantastically sordid love stories. There is no real happy ending, or there was so so much to get there, it is much deserved. In any case- everything lacks simplicity (almost- enough for it to be kind of true, to me) so it becomes about tolerance and composure. With that, and simplified thinking, I think I might be alright. Mistakes don't wait, so I do. I know myself, so I know my personal expectations and capacities,  I tread lightly about my erratic emotional insecurities because, ultimately, I know what the truth is. 

Masochism, romanticism... I know that its hard but, I am sure that it's worth it. 

One way or another. 

I GUESS......

Christmas Time is sooo OVerated when you become an adult. Its more about getting drunk and eating good food (again, thanksgiving just passed). Nobody ever gets great gifts when you're an adult but then again Whose sober enough to pay attention until the day after LOL....ANYWAYS HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!