All my Life...

Well not all of it but, since I was in the first grade, when I had my first Jewish teacher of memory, I was told that it is Yiddish for pretty. They used to call me things like Shayna Maidel or Shayna Punim; pretty girl or pretty face, respectively. Needless to say, people that know Yiddish or have cousins with the same name, want to know why or if I am Jewish. I am not, but I have coerced the honorary title.

So, I am making up nicknames, explaining the significance of my name, how I am so worthy, whatever the case may be. This guy starts working at my job. He is Arabic. On his first day of work he asks me if I know what my name means. I am like, yea, of course.

It means ugly in Arabic.

My life is a lie and I am utterly devastated.

Fuel for the Furnace of Achievement

It's about exercising one's full potential before the spirit withers away, in atrophy. It is not stress in the manner which makes one wants to escape, rather the ache your body feels when it tells you its simply a tool that facilitates, from the minute, to the utmost of your ability. Simply because you told it to. Making strides and building is what this life is about, it is about a universal love that is honed in the one that is you. Ergo, it can never be worth it without one hundred per cent. If I am not aching from doing, I am not living. I love it. You should to.

YOU + ME+ THAT DAMN SIDEKICK!!!!

Isn't it crazy how nowadays communication doesn't consist of telephone conversations with the other person actually being on the other end of the line? Instead, we are committed to in-personal conversations on AIM, YAHOO, MSN, and emails. I'm not knocking this method of communication because i'm a HUGE sidekick junkie, however, i've noticed that even in relationships, communicating to your partner via AIM, YAHOO, etc isn't taboo but more so an acquired look. Some people believe this method of communication can be considered a threesome (you+me+that damn sidekick/blackberry) but in this day and time the only miscommunication is no communication at all. So applause to all of those individuals who still believe in those 3 hour phone conversations talking about everything and nothing in total sum until you fall asleep!!(who actually has time to do this in 2008...especially if you live in NEW YORK) However, please don't knock the technological advancement of modern day society providing an alternative route towards love and effective communication. You can be a brand...but don't knock the TREND!!

Introducing

I was first introduced to Usher Raymond in the summer of 1993. My cousins and I were on our annual summer trip to St. Maarten (N.A.) where we spend two weeks in the beginning of August in a time share our grandmother's owned. This is before it was really popping like it is today.

We had a couple of cable channels we would be able to watch. This was usually in the morning/ before noon before we were able to get permission to go to the pool, where we spent the majority of our days. BET was one of the channels. Usher was instantly popular amongst my peer female cousins because he was the first pop singer we could identify with, as in, he is so cute, he is going to be so and so's boyfriend. This is not to say he was the first but we were actively witnessing the genesis of his career. It was exciting. Telling by our reactions to him, he is definitely accurate in dubbing himself, the Mack. Please enjoy fresh faced Usher and early 90's videos.

Looking at My Roley- It's About That Time...

I just finished devouring a mango...I think you are feeling where I am going (pause if you like but the kids'll understand)

Sad in the Pants or whatever, it has nothing to do with my face. It does, but I am going to act like it does not. I have been contemplating my sexless present and my track record. I have concluded that it is about time to dip back into the pool (no pun but, oh so clever). I love a great dicking do not get me wrong and I am not saying that I hate men and I am going to start parlaying with the fairer sex. Rather, from time to time I feel as if my rapport with men has been lacking and I am just not feeling my gender role in the rat race that is the dating game. Coupled with my fear of commitment, I need to do what I can to stave off cobwebs without having meaningless sex that I have to drown in alcohol, as a means to buttress my self-esteem.

So, I think I might find myself in a dyke bar soon...looking for pretty women with banging bodies to buy drinks and kiss up on...maybe I'll have more mangoes while I am at it.

Fuck it, why not.

Viva La White Girl...

COCAINE is everywhere... I do not know how I feel about it exactly. Whether I am utterly disgusted by the allowance of blatant reference to such a powerful and potentially detrimental drug; or extremely amused by the re-emergence of the mainstream marrying the not-so-underground society of drug acknowledgment/ usage. (read:I am not trying to 'out' anybody)

It's like the '80's- everybody does drugs. If they do not do it on a regular basis, they have tried it, or not really opposed to it. UNLESS... they are extremely drug retarded and refuse to do anything besides take Ny/DayQuil for their sickness symptoms.

Weezy chimes in on his take on Cocaine. Between me and you (no Cassie), I think he makes a pretty great point sans the last sentence, unless the gorilla/ hobbit hybrid is your thing... by all means, lick the rapper- for the gummy.

"I don't do too many (drugs). I just smoke weed and drink. But I'll never f**k with no more coke. It's not about the bad high; it's just about the acne: Cocaine makes your face break out. I'm a pretty boy."

It is always fun when drugs are unappealing for reasons other than the social stigma that goes with the consumption of narcotics. It is personalized and its honest. I raise my glass.

One of my favourite songs of the moment, remix included, is N.E.R.D.'s "Everyone Nose". I mean the title speaks for itself. It is about the coke head party girls that are under the influence that they are being discreet, as the wait on line and enter stalls two and three at a time, never squat, and flush the toilet for good measure.



Here is the Video for the original...



And if you see someone with symptoms of this new/old phenomena...Throw them a towel...its been a long night.

Friends...how many of us have them...

I am always interested in the relationship between friendships and enterprising support. Not many friends want to do their actual part in the initial jump-off, whether you have a blog and you need them to read it on the daily, if you are a performer and you need them to come out and pay money for your show, if you sell wares and you need people to support your crafts, etc., it is not going to happen if you rely solely on your friends. It happens all the time, to a lot of people, I am not going to say I am only on one side of the fence. Like TreZure the Empress (www.myspace.com/trezuretheempress) says, I am not looking for friends to support me; I am looking to fans. When people genuinely see where you are coming from, without the ties of familiarity, they will support you based on their relationship to your genius. It is just the nature of the game.

No one knows whether or not their wings are going to carry them until they have already jumped out of the nest. Then it is Fly or Die, as N.E.R.D. so eloquently put it (btw sooo excited for Seeing Sounds, their third album).

I go for what I know and keep it like that...rewards will follow.

So, even if I am my own known audience right now, I make it work and keep dropping these posts like they are hot.

Sad in the Pants Pt. I

Big ups to my homey for coining such a poignant phrase.

Were you asking...yes, I am sad in the pants. Its been a while since I have let anyone touch more than my back and that is for an acquaintance's embrace. That is why I decided to include this picture. It was made with wanton intentions. You will see a hand, inside the hamsa, holding a bra strap, the focus is on the breast. This leads into the Star of David resting slightly beneath the bottom lip, framing the clavicle. Each portion of the image screams sexual innuendo by sensuality. I made it so I know.

(pan back to me)...I am not even pressed for sex and probably could not jump right into sex anyway (I take necessary precautions-too much information to share) but I have reached the crossroads in my involuntary chastity. Am I really bothered by my lack of sexual intercourse or am I backhandedly congratulating myself for not having dropped trou in a minute? I can not tell, I am going through something unusual. I desire sex but I do not really feel like I need to actually have sex. If that makes any sense. My pussy would like a companion but she is an only child so she knows how to be by herself for an extended period of time. My pants- I think they are sad because the only time they get play is in the bathroom.

sigh, I think I miss the endorphins.

A How To...

I got awesome on Friday!

After work I met with a dear friend. We met at Stan's Place, a restaurant with New Orleans style cuisine and ambience, very nice and quaint. The food is so delicious, I recommend the salmon burger, it comes on an English muffin, so delightful! The address is 411 Atlantic Avenue, between Nevins and Bond streets, in Brooklyn.

Anyway, we are single and need to know we are not the only ones in the world that see that dating may not be a viable option right now. That now is the time to perfect our respective hustles and stacking chips like the responsible young women we are. Besides, no one is looking to be saved and I am not trying to struggle, if I have you dough, you have dough and then we can build together. I firmly believe in coming to the table, in any circumstance, with something tangible as to be recognized as an equal. HOWEVER, you still have to pay for my meal though, after all I am a lady.

So, we are discussing our gripes and ignorance as to what allows the men we encounter to be irrational and ridiculous. They are insecure and I have no time to tell someone that if they would have just stepped correct, I could have pulled my panties, to the left, to the left. But, because they want to go act crazy I am forced to be chaste. We get on the topic of Jewish men and how they love them some black women, not to marry, but to date and or patronize (read: prostitutes); because they will date your black ass for years and then go to Israel to get married (generally speaking).

Fast forward, it is 3:30 in the morning, I, along with some friends, migrate from this party to a bar nearby. I am assuming it was close by because I was crunk and time flies. Not to mention I made a new friend at the party but could not tell if we were flirting or innocently making conversation, I am a mixed bag. Either way at the bar, after opting for a pint of Guinness as opposed to a chilled shot of Patron. La madrugada never calls for tequila. A mutual friend, Jewish male, approaches me. I wait and let him figure out how is going to approach this situation. He begins to explain that he finds me attractive and that he likes my haircut (it was not cut but I know a trick or two). He ventures further and states that he is attracted to women like myself (read: black)and then he fumbles over some other phrases. I decided I heard enough so I stopped listening.

Simply, I state, Let's make out. We did and it was cool.

For Your Information

Along with blogging I am posting my collages. Just to let you know where a majority of these images are coming from.

SELL OUT!!!

I do not mean it in a derogatory way. This life should be about reason, comfort, and happiness, not necessarily in that order but reason is always first and foremost. The best things in life are free, but money, handled properly, lightens the load. Church. So, congratulations to Santogold for her Bud Light spot. The song is Creator, which can be found on her self-titled solo album in stores NOW!!!!

Make it Rain